I don’t care if it rains or freezes
Because I have my plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car
I can go a hundred miles an hour
‘Cause I’ve got almighty power
Right there on the dashboard of my car

Got myself a sweet Madonna
Dressed in rhinestones, sitting on a
Pedestal of abalone shell
Going ninety I ain’t scary
‘Cause I’ve got the Virgin Mary
Telling me that I won’t go to hell.

Riding down a thoroughfare
With his nose up in the air
A wreck may be ahead, but he don’t mind
Trouble coming He don’t see
He just keeps his eye on me
And any other thing that lies behind

When I’m in a traffic jam
He don’t care if I say "damn"
I can let all my curses roll
Plastic Jesus doesn’t hear
‘Cause he has a plastic ear
The man who invented plastic saved my soul

If I weave around at night
And policemen think I’m tight
They never find my bottle, though they ask
Plastic Jesus shelters me
For his head comes off you see
He’s hollow and I use Him for a flask

This is the version I seem to remember – the 1960’s, sign-on song of a disk jockey named Don Imis. There are other versions, like the one below.
Chuck

I don’t care if I’m broke or starvin’
As long as I’ve a fish named Darwin
Glued to the trunklid of my car
God, I’m feeling so evolved
Drivin’ with my problems solved
Proclaiming what I think of what we are