• Words of Wisdom

    WORDS OF WISDOM

    Please report or attribution errors to: chuck@clwilliamson.net

    The speed of time is one second per second.

    Draft beer, not people.

    When subjected to extreme feminine heat and pressure, male hydrocarbons will often produce – a diamond.

    Success is more dependent on the backbone than the wishbone.

    The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette.

    A waist is a terrible thing to mind.

    Problems cannot be solved at the same level of awareness that created them.

    Albert Einstein

    I don’t use drugs, my dreams are frightening enough.

    M. C. Escher

    Torture your data long enough and it will confess to anything.

    The nice thing about standards is that there are so many of them to choose from.

    Andrew S. Tanenbaum

    A person who walks in another’s tracks leaves no footprints.

    There is nothing wrong with sobriety in moderation.

    John Ciardi

    Mistakes are often the stepping stones to failure.

    Someday, is not a day of the week.

    Nothing in the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity

    Martin Luther King, Jr.

    Love is but the discovery of ourselves in others, and the delight in the recognition.

    Alexander Smith

    It may be that your whole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

    It is not known with what weapon World War III will be fought, but World War-IV will be fought with sticks and stones.

    Albert Einstein

    Time is nature’s way of keeping everything from happening all at once.

    Save the whales. Collect the whole set.

    Lady Nancy Astor, Viscountess: “If you were my husband, Winston, I should flavor your coffee with poison.”
    Winston Churchill: “If I WERE your husband, madam, I should drink it.”

    Sign for a combined Veterinarian and Taxidermist business: Either Way You Get Your Dog Back

    Free advice generally costs more than the other kind.

    Those who will not reason, perish in the act.
    Those who will not act, perish for that reason.

    W. H. Auden

    The silver lining is always easier to find in someone else’s cloud.

    I am returning this otherwise good typing paper to you because someone has printed gibberish all over it and put your name at the top.

    English Professor, Ohio University

    Strategy is when you run out of ammunition but keep firing anyway.

    Remember, gentlemen, what a Roman emperor said:
    The corpse of an enemy always smells sweet.

    Napoleon Bonapart

    It is one of the superstitions of the human mind to have imagined that virginity could be a virtue.

    Voltaire

    A tree never hits an automobile except in self-defense.

    Maybe thith ith Godth way of telling me to thape-up…
    or maybe God ith angry with me…
    or maybe God juth hath a weird thenth of humor.

    Grimm the dog (with his tongue frozen to a fire-plug)

    As you grow older, you stand for more and fall for less.

    A toast to bread, for without bread, there could be no toast.

    It’s confusing that narrow-minded people are thick headed.

    He who can, does. He who cannot teaches.

    George Bernard Shaw

    After all is said and done, more is said than done.

    America is like a melting pot. The people at the bottom get burned, and the scum floats to the top.

    Charlie King

    If it weren’t for the last minute, nothing would get done.

    The dumber people think you are, the more surprised they’re going to be when you kill them.

    William Clayton

    Ah, women. They make the highs higher and the lows more frequent.

    Friedrich Nietzsche

    When marriage is outlawed, only outlaws will have inlaws.

    I never knew what true happiness was till I got married-AND THEN IT WAS TOO LATE.

    Experience is that marvelous thing that enables you recognize a mistake – when you make it again.

    Franklin P. Jones

    Heisenberg might have been here.

    A closed mouth gathers no feet.

    Minds, like parachutes, only function when they are open.

    Reading computer manuals without the hardware is a frustrating as reading sex manuals without the software.

    Arthur C. Clarke

    Revolution: in politics, an abrupt change in the form of misgovernment.

    Ambrose Bierce
    Misfortune, n. –The kind of fortune that never misses.

    An open mind, like an open window, should be screened to keep the bugs out.

    Virginia Hutchinson

    He looked at me as if I was a side dish he hadn’t ordered.

    If you steal a clean slate, does it go on your record?

    Justice is incidental to law and order.- J. Edgar Hoover

    Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. “Yes” is the answer.

    ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI.

    In the fight between the bear and alligator, the outcome is determined by the terrain,

    Barksdale

    Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under communism, it’s just the opposite

    John Kenneth Galbraith

    Sin has many tools, but a lie is the handle that fits them all.

    Oliver Wendell Holmes

    In God we trust, all other pay cash.

    Jean Shepard

    The assembled justices of the Supreme Court are as bound to the law of gravity as any avalanche…

    Daniel Dennett

    Only two things in this life are certain — death and taxes.

    Benjamin Franklin. -Too bad they don’t occur in that order.

    640k ought to be enough for anybody.

    Bill Gates, 1981

    Immortality is the genius to move others long after you yourself have stopped moving.

    Frank Rooney

    In battle, in forest, at the precipice in the mountains,
    On the great dark sea, in the midst of javelins and arrows,
    In sleep, in confusion, in the depths of shame,
    The good things a man has done before defend him.

    (as quoted by Robert Oppenhiemer two nights before Trinity )

    How little it takes to make life unbearable: a pebble in the shoe, a cockroach in the spaghetti, a woman’s laugh.

    H. L. Mencken

    We are all tattooed in our cradles with the beliefs of our tribe.

    Oliver Wendell Holmes

    To the extent that we have wants, we are not free. To the extent that we do not have wants, we do not act.

    Robert G Ingersoll

    …it doesn’t matter how beautiful your theory is, it doesn’t matter how smart you are,
    if it doesn’t agree with experiment, it’s wrong.

    R.P. Feynman

    Wisdom is knowing what to do next; virtue is doing it.

    David Starr Jordan

    Few men have virtue to withstand the highest bidder.

    George Washington

    The louder he talked of his honour, the faster we counted our spoons.

    Emerson, Ralph Waldo (1803-1882) Conduct of Life`

    Graveyards are full of indispensable men

    Charles de Gaulle

    Love is not just looking at each other, it’s looking in the same direction.

    Antoine de Saint-Exupery

    What is life? It is the flash of a firefly in the night. It is the breath of a buffalo in the wintertime. It is the little shadow which runs across the grass and loses itself in the sunset.

    Crowfoot, Blackfoot warrior and orator, 1890

    If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?

    Abraham Lincoln

    Nothing discloses real character like the use of power.
    It is easy for the weak to be gentle.
    Most people can bear adversity.
    But if you wish to know what a man really is, give him power. This is the supreme test.
    It is the glory of Lincoln that, having almost absolute power, he never abused it, except on the side of mercy.

    Robert G. Ingersoll (On Abraham Lincon)

    Your logic is only as good as the assumptions it start with.

    Steve Gelle

    A conclusion may simply be the place where you got tired of thinking.

    Love is like quicksilver in the hand. Leave the fingers open and it stays.
    Clutch it, and it darts away.

    Dorothy Parker

    To many, total abstinence is easier than perfect moderation.

    St. Augustine

    Failures are divided into two classes: those who thought and never did, and those who did and never thought.

    John Charles Salak

    Learn from your parents’ mistakes – use birth control!

    What kills a skunk is the publicity it gives itself .

    A. Lincoln

    Whenever books are burned, men also in the end are burned.

    Heinrich Heine

    No Dogma ever rolled over and died without a fight.

    Daniel Dennett

    Of course, the entire effort is to put oneself outside the ordinary range,
    of what are called Statistics

    Stephen Spender

    Big whorls have little whorls
    Which feed on their velocity
    And little whorls have lesser whorls
    And so on to viscosity.

    Lewis F Richardson

    Remember that nobody will ever get ahead of you as long as he is kicking you in the seat of the pants.

    Walter Winchell

    Copywight 1994 Elmer Fudd. All wights wesewved.

    Southern DOS: Y’all reckon? (Yep/Nope)

    Do not look where you fell, but where you slipped.

    African proverb

    Anyone who conducts an argument by appealing to authority is not using his intelligence; he is just using his memory.

    Leonardo da Vinci

    Experience is a hard teacher. She gives the test first and the lessons afterwards.

    Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon.

    Susan Ertz

    Why yes — a bulletproof vest.

    James Rodges, murderer, on his final request before the firing squad

    The illegal we do immediately. The unconstitutional takes a little longer.

    Henry Kissinger

    I’d give my right arm to be ambidextrous.

    Brian W. Kernighan

    The warning message we sent the Russians was a calculated ambiguity, that would be clearly understood.

    Alexander Haig

    If one morning I walked on top of the water across the Potomac River, the headline that afternoon would read: PRESIDENT CAN’T SWIM.

    Lyndon B. Johnson

    The great tragedy of Science — the slaying of a beautiful hypothesis by an ugly fact.

    Thomas Henry Huxley

    Copying from one source is plagiarism; copying from many is research.

    Obscenity is anything that gives a judge an erection.

    Anonymous American lawyer

    Remember when it comes to giving, some people stop at nothing.

    The genes are the master programmers, and they are programming for their lives.

    Richard Dawkins

    All lies go armed, and all mistakes carry concealed weapons

    Robert G. Ingersoll

    Flying saucers are just an optical conclusion.

    We shall find the Cube of the Rainbow,
    Of that there is no doubt.
    But the Arc of a Lover’s conjecture
    Eludes the finding out.

    Emily Dickinson (1894)

    I don’t like to commit myself about heaven and hell
    –you see, I have friends in both places.

    Mark Twain

    It’s like finding a haystack full of needles.

    Leo Rosten

    If men could get pregnant, abortion would be a sacrament.

    Florynce Kennedy

    The end of the human race will be that it will eventually die of civilization.

    Ralph Waldo Emerson

    We are never deceived; we deceive ourselves.

    Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

    Theory: when you have ideas.
    Ideology: when ideas have you.

    When we talk to God, we’re praying.
    When God talks to us, we’re schizophrenic.

    Lily Tomlin

    Obscenity is the crutch of inarticulate mother-fuckers.

    The purpose of a fish trap is to catch fish, and when the fish are caught, the trap is forgotten.
    The purpose of a rabbit snare is to catch rabbits.
    When the rabbits are caught, the snare is forgotten.
    The purpose of words is to convey ideas.
    When the ideas are grasped, the words are forgotten.
    Where can I find a man who has forgotten words?
    He is the one I would like to talk to.

    Chuang-tzu c.369-286 BC

    A fanatic is one who can’t change his mind and won’t change the subject.

    Winston Churchill

    Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour.
    Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute.
    THAT’S relativity.

    Albert Einstein

    It is better to be roughly right than precisely wrong.

    John Maynard Keynes

    Your manuscript is both good and original,
    but the part that is good is not original,
    and the part that is original is not good.

    Samuel Johnson 1709-1784

    The American people know what they want, and deserve to get it,
    good and hard.

    H.L. Mencken

    Love makes the time pass. Time makes love pass.

    French Proverb

    I have the heart of a little boy.
    I keep it in a jar on my desk.

    Stephen King

    No one is more carnal than a recent virgin.

    John Steinbeck

    More than at any time in history, mankind now faces a crossroads.
    One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness, the other to total extinction.
    Let us pray that we have the wisdom to choose correctly.

    Woody Allen

    You can’t tell which way the train went by looking at the track.

    There is absolutely no substitute for a genuine lack of preparation.

    I’m a slow walker, but I never walk back.

    Abraham Lincoln

    Death never knocks. Death justs walks through the door.

    Tennessee Williams

    It makes a big difference if we think of God as a person or as a force.
    One way you get Christianity, the other you get Star Wars.

    Jayne Kulikauskas

    Now and then there arises a man, who on peril’s edge, draws from the scabbard of despair, the sword of victory.

    Robert G.Ingersoll

    See the happy moron,
    He doesn’t give a damn.
    I wish I were a moron,
    My God! Perhaps I am!

    Eugenics Review, July 1929

    Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.

    Groucho Marx

    The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity.

    Ellen Parr

    There is no god, and Murphy is his prophet.

    The word “politics” is derived from the word “poly”, meaning “many”, and the word “ticks”, meaning “blood sucking parasites”.

    Larry Hardiman

    You can always pick up your needle and move to another groove.

    Timothy Leary

    You can’t study the darkness by flooding it with light.

    Edward Abbey

    Think global, act loco.

    Pain is inevitable- suffering is optional.

    The tragedy of old age is not that one is old, but that one is young.

    Mark Twain

    Happiness is not something you experience, it’s something you remember.

    Oscal Levant

    You cannot reason a person out of a position he did not reason himself into in the first place.

    Jonathan Swift

    Hell is paved with good Samaritans.

    William M. Holden

    Silence is argument carried out by other means.

    “Che”Guevara (1928-1967)

    The U.S. Constitution isn’t perfect — but it’s a hell of a lot better than what we have now….

    I can stand brute force, but brute reason is quite unbearable. There is something unfair about its use. It is hitting below the intellect.

    Oscar Wilde

    Most of it is crap, but in every pile of crap is a gem of stupidity.

    psyco@ace.com

    Right-to-Lifers believe that life begins at the moment you agree with them.

    Invest in America- buy a Congressman

    Bumper Sticker

    I talk to God every day, and He’s never mentioned you.

    from the movie “Ladyhawke”

    The world is proof that God is a committee.

    Bob Stokes
    Newspaper, n: A device incapable of distinguishing between a bicycle accident and the collapse of civilization.

    Hindu speaking to a “Born again” Christian:
    “Of course I am born again. And again and again and again.”

    To YOU I’m an atheist; to God, I’m the Loyal Opposition.

    Woody Allen

    Freedom is not free.
    Free men are not equal.
    Equal men are not free.

    The goal of psychotherapy: To transform hysterical misery into common unhappiness.Freud

    Draw me not without cause;
    Sheath me not without honor.

    Engraved on the sword of George Armstrong Custer

    If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.

    Derek Bok ex-president of Harvard

    It should not be believed that a march of three or four days in the wrong direction can be corrected by a countermarch. As a rule, this is to make two mistakes instead of one.

    Napoleon Bonapart

    When you’re wounded and left on Afghanistan’s plains,
    And the women come out to cut up what remains,
    Jest roll to your rifle and blow out your brains.
    An’ go to your Gawd like a soldier.

    Rudyard Kipling

    F = m*a
    Lambda = h/mv
    E = mc**2
    1 + e**(i*pi) = 0

    Jim Bakker spells his name with 2 k’s because 3 would be too obvious.

    Bill Maher, host of Politically Incorrect

    Last year, more people were killed by firearms than in “road rage” incidents,
    a trend that will continue until we develop a more accurate automobile.

    Newsweek page-56 , 1/28/98

    Don’t ask the monkey, ask the organ grinder.

    Lou Holtz Former Notre Dame football coach

    Chance favors the prepared mind.

    Louis Pasteur

    There are four kinds of murder: criminal, excusable, rightful and praiseworthy.
    This classification serves the lawyers. To the murdered it makes no difference.

    Ambrose Bierce

    Dancing is the vertical expression of a horizontal desire.

    Data isn’t information. Information isn’t knowledge. And knowledge isn’t wisdom.

    God is coming- and She is pissed

    Bumper Sticker

    In some parts of Africa, instead of saying “good night” people say “wake up living.”

    Boys throw stones at frogs in sport, but the frogs do not die in sport. They die in earnest.

    Bion (c. 325 – c. 255 B.C.)

    Furious activity is no substitute for understanding.

    H. H. Williams

    Anything worth fighting for is worth fighting dirty for.

    Yesterday a drop of semen. Tomorrow a handful of ashes.

    Emperor Marcus Aurelius

    It is one thing to praise discipline, and another to submit to it.

    Miguel de Cervantes (c.1613)

    The man who sets out to carry a cat by its tail learns something that will always be useful and which never will grow dim or doubtful.

    Mark Twain.

    … A naked man fears no pickpocket…

    Blue Wave/QWK v2.10

    You are a good man, but you are in the wrong place and you are going to die a horrible death.

    a Chinese Ghost Story

    Suicide is the most sincere form of self-criticism.

    We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then, is not an act, but a habit.

    Aristotle

    Extremism in the defense of liberty is no vice,
    and moderation in the pursuit of justice is no virtue.

    Barry Goldwater

    A slipping sear could let your M203 grenade launcher fire when you least expect it.
    That would make you quite unpopular… with what’s left of your unit.

    PS magazine, the Army magazine of preventive maintenance, August 1993

    It’s a damn poor mind that can only think of one way to spell a word.

    Andrew Jackson

    Hell is truth seen too late.

    Thomas Hobbes

    The highest reward for a person’s toil is not
    what he gets for it, but what he becomes by it.

    John Ruskin

    Indecision is the key to flexibility.

    Enslaved, illogical, elate,
    He greets the embarrassed Gods, nor fears
    To shake the iron hand of Fate
    Or match with Destiny for beers.
    An American

    Rudyard Kipling – 1894 (excerpt)

    The only thing in life achieved without effort- is failure.

    The careful application of terror is also a form of communication.

    The more you run over a dead cat, the flatter it gets.

    Computers are like Old Testament gods; lots of rules and no mercy.

    Joseph Campbell

    The dead sleep in their moonless night. My business is with the living.

    Ralph Waldo Emerson

    Losing an illusion makes you wiser than finding a truth.”

    Ludwig Borne

    Knock Knock.
    Who’s There?
    Recursion
    Recursion who?
    Knock Knock…

    Perfection (in design) is achieved not when there is nothing more to add,
    but rather when there is nothing more to take away.

    Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

    There is a theory which states that if ever anyone ever discovers exactly what the universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable.
    There is another theory which states that this has already happened.”

    Douglas Adams

    And that inverted Bowl we call the sky,
    Where under crawling coop’d we live and die,
    Lift not your heads to it for help
    For it as impotently moves as you or I.

    Omar

    The world is a comedy for those who think, a tragedy for those who feel.

    Horace Walpole Will Durant’s “The Story of Philosophy”

    We are bits of stellar matter that got cold by accident, bits of a star gone wrong.
    Eddington, New York Times Magazine, Oct. 9,1932.

    Sir Arthur

    Globed from the atoms falling slow or swift
    I see the suns, I see the systems lift
    Their forms; and even the systems and the suns
    Shall go back slowly to the eternal drift.

    Lucretius

    The very purpose of the Bill of Rights was to withdraw certain subjects from the vicissitudes of political controversy, to place them beyond the reach of majorities and officials and to establish them as legal principles to be applied by the courts. One’s right to life, liberty, and property, to free speech, a free press, freedom of worship and assembly, and other fundamental rights may not be submitted to a vote; they depend on the outcome of no elections.

    Supreme Court Justice Robert Jackson, in a 1943 decision recognizing the right of Jehovah’s Witness children to refrain from saluting the flag

    Children are natural mimics who act like their parents
    despite every effort to teach them good manners.

    Life is complex. It has real and imaginary parts.

    It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought
    without accepting it.

    Aristotle

    Dissent is the highest form of patriotism.

    Thomas Jefferson

    Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.

    The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing in the right place,
    but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the moment of temptation.

    Sometimes I think I understand everything- then I regain consciousness.

    We never know we go, when we are going
    We jest and shut the door;
    Fate following behind us bolts it,
    And we accost no more.

    Emily Dickinson (Sonnet XLIX)

    A triumph of the embalmer’s art

    Gore Vidal, on Ronald Regan, 1981

    If they know nothing of victory, then at least they are spared the knowledge of defeat

    Oscar Wilde

    We don’t have to visit a madhouse to find disordered minds;
    our planet is the mental institute of the universe.

    Goethe

    Poetry is an orphan of silence.
    The words never quite equal the experience behind them.

    Charles Simic

    When all men think alike, no one thinks very much.

    Watter Lippman

    A dead thing can go with the stream,
    but only a living thing can go against it.

    G. K. Chesterton

    Be less curious about people and more curious about ideas.

    Marie Curie

    It may be that we have all lived before and died, and this is hell.

    A.L. Prusick

    Fear can be healthier than whiskey,
    once man has acquired a taste for it.

    Donald Downes

    I have no trouble with my enemies.
    I can take care of my enemies all right.
    But my damn friends, my God damn friends.
    They’re the ones that keep me walking the floors at night.”

    Warren G. Hardin

    Light thinks it travels faster than anything, but it is wrong.
    No matter how fast light travels it finds the darkness has always got there first,
    and is waiting for it.

    Terry Prachet Reaper Man

    The difference between a dream and a goal is an action plan.
    The difference between a goal and reality- is the action.

    Zelda Iams

    It’s like quantum physics- It doesn’t make any sense but it explains everything else.
    Bisson Incident at Oak Ridge

    Terry

    …In the haze of afternoon,
    while the air flowed saffron,
    I played my game for keeps —
    for love, for poetry,
    and for eternal life…

    Stanley Kunitz Trials of Summer (excerpt)

    Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer.

    Mark Twain

    The surest protection against temptation is cowardice

    Mark Twain

    It would be a harmless trick, if it were not continually misunderstood by those hungry to misunderstand it.

    Some men worship rank, some worship heroes, some worship power, some worship God, and over these ideals they dispute and cannot unite– but they all worship money.

    Mark Twain

    Nonviolence is a powerful and just weapon- which cuts without wounding, and ennobles the man who wields it. It is a sword that heals.

    Martin Luther King Jr.

    Through love, we steal from the time that kills us, a few hours, which we turn now into paradise and not into hell. In both ways time expands and ceases to be a measure. Beyond happiness and unhappiness, though it is both things, love is intensity: it does not give us eternity but life, that second in which the doors of time and space open just a crack: here is there, and now is always. In love, everything is two and everything strives to be one.

    Octavio Paz, The Double Flame: Love and Eroticism

    The greatest dangers to liberty lurk in insidious encroachment by men of zeal, well-meaning, but without understanding.

    Louis D. Brandeis

    Adversity is the trial of principal. Without it, a man hardly knows whether he is honest or not.

    Henry Fielding

    Love is a better fate than riches.

    “Chuck” Williamson

    Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die.

    Malachy McCourt

    Temptation is the trial of virtue.

    Chuck Williamson

    Majority rule only works if you’re also considering individual rights.
    Because you can’t have five wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for supper.

    Larry Flynt

    If Columbus had an advisory committee he would probably still be at the dock.

    Arthur Goldberg

    To rule is easy, to govern difficult.

    Johann W. von Goethe

    Democracy consists of choosing your dictators,
    after they’ve told you what you think it is you want to hear.

    Alan Coren

    It would indeed be ironic if, in the name of national defense, we would sanction the subversion of one of those liberties . . . which makes the defense of the Nation worthwhile.

    U.S. v. Robel, 1967

    You only have power over people as long as you don’t take everything away form them. But when you’ve robbed a man of everything, he’s no longer in your power- he’s free again.

    Alexander Solzhenitsyn, The first Circle, 1968

    If you hate a person, you hate something in that is part of yourself.
    What isn’t a part of ourselves doesn’t disturb us.

    Hermann Hesse, Demain, 1919

    Cleverness is not wisdom.

    Euripides

    The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.

    Ghandi

    I will not serve that in which I no longer believe whether it call itself my home, my fatherland or my church; and I will try to express myself in some mode of life or art as freely as I can and as wholly as I can, using for my defense the only arms I allow myself to use, silence, exile and cunning.

    James Joyce 1916

    Trial work requires a computer mind that is rapid in challenge and response. It’s like live TV with no rerun. Not everyone has a mental fast ball and those who don’t shouldn’t try cases.

    Ned Good, Lawyer

    No Poet ever interpreted nature as freely as a lawyer interprets truth.

    Jean Giraudoux 19th century Frenchman

    White folks don’t want peace; they want quiet.
    The price you pay for peace is justice.
    Until there is justice, there will be no peace and quiet.

    Jesse Jackson

    Justice? You get justice in the next world, in this world you get the law.

    William Gaddis

    I think that there are certain crimes which the law cannot touch, and which therefore, to some extent, justify revenge.

    Sherlock Holmes

    Lawyers are like beavers; they get in the mainstream and dam it up.

    John Naisbitt

    This is what has to be remembered about the law: Beneath that cold, harsh impersonal exterior there beats a cold, harsh, impersonal heart.

    David Frost, British journalist

    Art is the chalice into which we pour the wine of transcendence.

    Stanely Kunits Passing Through, 1995

    The principles underlying all laws, rules and conventions imposed by society to regulate the conduct of war and those who wage it are these: the principle of military necessity, the principle of humanity; the principle of chivalry.
    Once these principles are negated by a nation, that nation places in jeopardy its status in modern society and hazards any claim to the rightness of its cause.

    US Marine Corps Officers Manual, second edition- 1964, p. 237

    Some politicians reveal a “gift for compressing the largest amount amount of words into the smallest amount of thought.

    Winston Churchill

    Not nature but the ‘genius of mankind’ has knotted the hangman’s noose, with which it can execute itself at any moment

    Carl Jung 1952

    Stupidity should not be painless

    Bumper Sticker

    You see these dictators on their pedestals, surrounded by the bayonets of their soldiers and the truncheons of their police. Yet in their hearts there is unspoken, unspeakable fear. They are afraid of words and thoughts! Words spoken abroad, thoughts stirring at home, all the more powerful because they are forbidden. These terrify them. A little mouse – a little tiny mouse of thought appears in the room, and even the mightiest potentates are thrown into panic.

    Winston Churchill

    Trust is harder to earn than a Ph.D. and easier to loose than a set of car-keys.

    Anthony Ronzio (in a NY Times column) 2006

    When we are dealing with our internal (life) clocks we are looking at a clock without hands – we can’t read the time… but we know it’s ticking When Hemingway killed himself he put a period at the end of his life; old age is more like a semicolon,

    Kurt Vonnegut

    The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

    Terry Pratchett

    The truth may be out there, but the lies are inside your head.

    Terry Pratchett,

    Like a mechanic who forgets to wipe his hands on a shop rag and then goes home, hugs his wife, and gets a grease stain on her favorite sweater – love touches you, and marks you forever.

    Beth Fand Incollingo

    I can be powered down (for the last time), or as Timothy Leary puts it, “deanimated.”

    It would be a harmless trick if it were not continually misunderstood by those hungry to misunderstand it.

    The one resolution, which was in my mind long before it took the form of a resolution, is the keynote of my life. It is this; I always regarded as mere impertinences of fate the handicaps which were placed upon my life almost at the beginning. I resolved that they should not crush or dwarf my soul, but rather be made to blossom, like Aaron’s rod, with flowers.

    Helen Keller

    … a carnivorous injunction, as in: “And don’t touch them weasels, neither.” I cannot see why we should expect an infinite God to do better in another world than he does in this.

    Robert Ingersoll

    A horse may be coaxed to drink, but a pencil must be lead.

    Stan Laurel

    Our long national nightmare of peace and prosperity is over

    The Onion: mock news speech by GWB

    We’re describing the hammer here, you’ll have to decide where the nails go. A bathroom break during “Return of the King” becomes a pisser of the highest order – not unlike having to take out the trash in the middle of losing one’s virginity. It is easy to start thinking that raising ethical issues in a technical discussion is improper, that there is some virtue in keeping technical decisions away from ethics.
    That is the worst mistake an engineer can make.”

    RMS

    The American order was a new idea, not a new version of an old idea. … chamberpot at the end of the rainbow

    If the minimum wasn’t acceptable it wouldn’t be called the minimum.

    George Muncaster (Air Force Wisdom)

    The shortest distance between two points is under construction.

    Noelie Altito

    I was so poor growing up … if I wasn’t a boy …I’d a had nothing to play with.

    Rodney Dangerfield

    Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.

    Sir Winston Churchill

    I must reconcile courage and surrender in equal measure.

    Charlton Heston, on his Alzheimer’s disease

    Everyone is entitled to his own opinion, but not his own facts.

    Patrick Moynihan

    Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened.

    Dr Seuss

    You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.

    Dr Seuss

    Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple.

    Dr Seuss

    You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose.

    Dr Seuss

    What light is to the eyes –
    what air is to the lungs –
    what love is to the heart,
    liberty is to the soul of man.

    Robert G. Ingersoll

    Happiness is not having what you want… but wanting what you have.

    Societies where the middle class dominates are the most likely to be stable and decent. The wealthy tend to be arrogant and heedless; the economically insecure, resentful and destructive. Members of the middle class tend to have more moderate desires, they are more open to reasonable persuasion, and they are more likely to be linked to one another by ties of civic affection.

    Aristotle (as attributed by William A. Galston, Wall Street Journal, 2013/11/12)

    I don’t have a memory problem- I have a recall problem.

    Sharon Williamson (my daughter)

    Put fun between your legs- ride a bike!

    Sign on a bicycle shop, Lakewood WA.

    Lies run sprints, but the truth runs marathons.

    Michael Jackson

    Vision without execution is hallucination.

    Thomas Edison

    Our worst fault is our preoccupation with the faults of others.

    Kahlil Gibran

    Five Cardinal Rules for Life:
    (1) Make Peace with your past.
    So it won’t disturb your present
    (2) What other people think of you
    is none of your business.
    (3) Time heals almost everything.
    Give it time.
    (4) No one is in charge of your happiness.
    Except you.
    (5) Don’t compare your life to others and don’t judge them,
    you have no idea what their journey is all about.

    Tesh.com

    Listen and Silent are spelled with the same letters.

    But- I was coerced by circumstance.

    Hate corrodes the container that holds it.

  • Humanistic Adductions

    Why be born again, when you can just grow up?

    Please report hyperlink or attribution errors to: chuck@clwilliamson.net

    Being descended from Apes is no shame, but being dumb as an Ape is unfortunate.

    Steve Geller off talk.origns

    Faith is an absolutely marvelous tool.
    With faith there is no question too big for even the smallest mind.

    Donald Morgan

    Reality is that, which when you stop believing in it, doesn’t go away.

    Philip K. Dick

    I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours.

    Stephen Roberts

    It has been said that the fundamentalist mind is like concrete; all mixed up and permanently set.

    It is a heretic that makes the fire, not she which burns in it.

    William Shakespeare 1564-1616

    We want to shear the Lord’s sheep of their wooly, fuzzy thinking, not stampede them – so we can’t use chainsaws.

    Max G. Webb

    I do not feel obliged to believe that same God who endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect had intended for us to forego their use.

    Galileo

    I have always admired the insular closed-mindedness which fundamentalists possess, a quality which allows them to filter the chaff from the wheat–and eat the chaff.

    Jim Acker

    John Wesley said that if you give up the witchcraft, you must give up the Bible. He is right. The choice is easy for me.

    Rupert Hughes

    The Christian religion not only was at first attended with miracles, but even to this day cannot be believed by any reasonable person without one.

    David Hume

    I have little confidence in any enterprise or business or investment that promises dividends only after the death of the stockholders.

    Robert G. Ingersoll

    God is an invention of Man. So the nature of God is only a shallow mystery.
    The deep mystery is the nature of man.

    Nanrei Kobori Abbot of the (Buddhist) Temple of the Shining Dragon

    The invisible and the non-existent look very much alike.

    Delos McKown

    I find every sect, as far as reason will help them, make use of it gladly; and where it fails them, they cry out, it is a matter of faith, and above reason.

    John Locke

    One can often recognize herd animals by their tendency to carry bibles.

    Allen Wheelis The Signal

    We must respect the other fellow’s religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart.

    H.L. Mencken

    If I were to speak your kind of language, I would say that man’s only moral commandment is:
    Thou shalt think. But a ‘moral commandment’ is a contradiction in terms. The moral is the chosen, not the forced; the understood, not the obeyed. The moral is the rational, and reason accepts no commandments.

    Ayn Rand

    Fear prophets … and those prepared to die for the truth, as a rule make many others die with them, often before them, and at times instead of them.

    Umberto Eco

    Koranic teaching still insists that the sun moves around the earth. How can we advance when they teach things like that?

    Taslima Nasrin Time magazine,31st Jan 1994

    Many people would rather die than think; in fact, most do.

    Bertrand Russell

    The Ethiopians make their gods black and snub-nosed; the Thracians say theirs have blue eyes and red hair… Yes, and if oxen and horses or lions had hands and could paint with their hands, and produce works of art as men do, horses would paint the forms of the gods like horses, and oxen like oxen…

    Xenophanes 6th century B.C.

    If atheism is a religion, then bald is a hair color.

    Mark Schnitzius off alt.atheism

    Man is the religious animal. He is the only religious animal. He is the only animal that has the True Religion–several of them.

    Mark Twain Letters from the Earth

    I believe I found the missing link between animal and civilized man. It is us.

    Konrad Lorenz

    The most formidable weapon against errors of every kind is reason. I have never used any other, and I trust I never shall.

    Thomas Paine , Age of Reason

    To surrender to ignorance and call it God has always been premature, and it remains premature today.

    Isaac Asimov

    Once there was a time when all people believed in God and the church ruled.
    This time is called the Dark Ages.

    Richard Lederer

    Some people, apparently, masturbate with their intellects. I prefer to use my hand. It takes less time, and has a more satisfying outcome. As an added advantage, I am rarely tempted to show people the end product.

    Eric Shafto , responding to Why should we believe in evolution? post.

    I am an agnostic; I do not pretend to know what many ignorant men are sure of.

    Clarence Darrow

    What sort of designer creates wasps that eat their prey alive, spiders that eat their mates, ants that kill off large populations of their male larvae, and bedbugs that engage in homosexual stabbing rape? …. Well, I’d argue that the design of these behaviors must say something about the designer. Wouldn’t you?

    Unknown off talk.origins

    …besides, any intelligent designer who would wrap the prostate gland around the ureter must have a wicked sense of humor.

    Bob Park on if "irreducible complexity" in nature must come from an "intelligent designer."

    Faith may be defined briefly as an illogical belief in the occurrence of the improbable.

    H.L. Mencken

    A casual stroll through the lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything.

    Friedrich Nietzsche

    To recognize that nature has neither a preference for our species nor a bias against it takes only a little courage

    James Randi

    You pronounce sentence upon me with greater fear than I receive it.

    Giordano Bruno to his inquisitors

    The Church has always been willing to swap off treasures in heaven for cash down.

    Robert G. Ingersoll

    In nature there are neither rewards nor punishments – there are consequences.

    Robert G. Ingersoll

    Imagine the Creator as a low comedian, and at once the world becomes explicable.

    H.L. Mencken

    Is it consistent to say that a design cannot exist without a designer but that a designer can?
    Does not a designer need a design as much as a design needs a designer?
    Does not a Creator need a Creator as much as the thing we think has been created?
    ….Can we find "design" in the fact that every animal lives upon some other- that every drop of every sea is a battlefield where the strong devour the weak?
    Over the precipice of cruelty rolls a perpetual Niagara of blood. Is there "design" in this?

    Robert G. Ingersoll

    Nature, so long as we can discern, without passion and without intention, forms, transforms, and retransforms forever. She neither weeps nor rejoices. She produces man without purpose, and obliterates him without regret. She knows no distinction between the beneficial and the hurtful. Poison and nutrition, pain and joy, life and death, smiles and tears are alike to her. She is neither merciful nor cruel. She cannot be flattered by worship nor melted by tears. She does not know even the attitude of prayer. She appreciates no difference between poison in the fangs of snakes or mercy in the hearts of men.

    Only through man does nature take cognizance of the good, the true, and the beautiful…

    Robert G. Ingersoll

    Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction.

    Blaise Pascal

    To be good is noble, but to teach others how to be good is nobler–and less trouble.

    Mark Twain

    Popular theology… is a massive inconsistency derived from ignorance…
    The Gods exist because nature herself has imprinted a conception of them on the minds of men.

    Cicero De Natura Deoru

    A thing is not necessarily true because a man dies for it.

    Oscar Wilde

    Pray: To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner, confessedly unworthy.

    Ambrose Bierce

    The Puritan through Life’s sweet garden goes
    To pluck the thorn and cast away the rose.

    Kenneth Hare

    To rule by fettering the mind through fear of punishment in another world, is just as base as to use force.

    Hypatia (c. 370-415 CE)

    … there could be talking bunny rabbits, spiders who write English messages in their webs, and for that matter, melancholy choo-choo trains. There could be, I suppose, but there aren’t–so my theory doesn’t have to explain them.

    Daniel Dennett

    The fundamental cause of trouble in the world today is that the stupid are cocksure, while the intelligent are full of doubt.

    Bertrand Russell

    Exploring the universe through meditation is like studying human relationships through masturbation.

    I do not find in our particular superstitions of Christianity one redeeming feature. They are all alike, founded on fables and mythology.

    Thomas Jefferson

    It is all over with priests and gods when man becomes scientific.
    Moral: Science is the forbidden as such — it alone is forbidden.
    Science is the first sin, seed of all sin, the original sin.
    This alone is morality. "Thou shalt not know"
    — the rest follows.

    Friedrich Nietzsche

    Humanity has the stars in its future, and that future is too important to be lost under the burden of juvenile folly and ignorant superstition.

    Isaac Asimov

    I have never seen the slightest scientific proof of the religious theories of heaven and hell, of future life for individuals, or of a personal God.

    Thomas Alva Edison Colombian Magazine

    I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do because I notice it always coincides with their own desires.

    Susan B. Anthony

    We are the universe experiencing itself.
    That’s why we’re here.

    Carl Sagan

    The old is the ignorant enemy of the new. The old has pedigree and respectability; it is filled with the spirit of caste; it is associated with great events, and with great names; it is entrenched; it has an income — it represents property. Besides, it has parasites, and the parasites always defend themselves.

    Robert G. Ingersoll

    Once people get hung up on theology, they’ve lost sanity forever

    Gore Vidal Secular Humanist Bulletin, 1995

    It ain’t the parts of the Bible that I can’t understand that bother me, it is the parts that I do understand.

    Mark Twain

    In every country and in every age the priest has been hostile to liberty; he is always in allegiance to the despot, abetting his abuses in return for protection of his own.

    Thomas Jefferson

    The very fact of there being more than one revelation is sufficient to raise doubts in the minds of reasoning people as to the validity of any of them.

    Aletheia, M.D. Rationalist’s Manual

    If God wants us to do a thing, He should make his wishes sufficiently clear. Sensible people will wait till He has done this before paying much attention to Him.

    Samuel Butler

    In looking for an answer, we cannot simply postulate the existence of what we are trying to explain.

    off talk.origins

    Skepticism is the chastity of the intellect, and it is shameful to surrender it too soon or to the first comer: there is nobility in preserving it coolly and proudly through long youth, until at last, in the ripeness of instinct and discretion, it can be safely exchanged for fidelity and happiness.

    George Santayana Skepticism and Animal Faith

    They were allowed to stay there on one condition, and that is that they didn’t eat of the tree of knowledge. That has been the condition of the Christian church from then until now. They haven’t eaten as yet. As a rule they do not.

    Clarence Darrow

    A dogma is the hand of the dead on the throat of the living.

    Lemuel K.Washburn

    Everywhere in the world there are ignorance and prejudice, but the greatest complex of these, with the most extensive prestige and the most intimate entanglement with traditional institutions, is the Roman Catholic Church.

    H.G. Wells

    A hundred thousand lemmings can’t be wrong.

    Those who believe in hell can never know truth, for they are blinded by fear.

    Emmet F. Fields

    …and when you tell me that your deity made you in his own image, I reply
    that he must be very ugly.

    Victor Hugo , writing to clergy

    No wild beasts are as hostile to men as Christian sects in general are to one another.

    Emperor Julian

    The destroyer of weeds, thistles and thorns is a benefactor, whether he soweth grain or not.

    Robert G. Ingersoll

    An atheist is a man who has no invisible means of support.

    John Buchan British statesman, author

    Suppose, however, that God did give this law to the Jews, and did tell them that whenever a man preached a heresy, or proposed to worship any other God that they should kill him; and suppose that afterward this same God took upon himself flesh, and came to this very chosen people and taught a different religion, and that thereupon the Jews crucified him; I ask you, did he not reap exactly what he had sown? What right would this god have to complain of a crucifixion suffered in accordance with his own command?

    Robert G. Ingersoll Some mistakes of Moses

    When people learn no tools of judgment and merely follow their hopes, the seeds of political manipulation are sown.

    Stephen Jay Gould

    Consider the ignorance of the average fundamentalist. Then realize that by definition fully half of them must be even dumber than that.

    A myth is a religion in which no one any longer believes.

    James Feibleman

    Ignorance is the mother of devotion.

    Dean Henry Cole

    A god’s primary function is to confirm for us deeply held beliefs that we can’t let go of, even in the face of overwhelming evidence. When you are totally and absolutely convinced of something fundamentally unreasonable, it helps to believe you have divine guidance.

    With soap, baptism is a good thing.

    Robert G. Ingersoll

    When a religion is good, I conceive it will support itself; and when it does not support itself so that its professors are obliged to call for the help of the civil power, ’tis a sign, I apprehend, of its being a bad one.

    Benjamin Franklin

    A religion is sometime a source of happiness, and I would not deprive anyone of happiness. But it is a comfort appropriate for the weak, not for the strong. The great trouble with religion – any religion – is that a religionist, having accepted certain propositions by faith, cannot thereafter judge those propositions by evidence. One may bask at the warm fire of faith or choose to live in the bleak certainty of reason- but one cannot have both.

    Robert A. Heinlein "Friday"

    Theists have good reasons for not believing in every god but their own.
    Atheists make no exception for the last one.

    Brett Lemoine

    There is something feeble and a little contemptible about a man who cannot face the perils of life without the help of comfortable myths.

    Bertrand Russell in Human Society in Ethics and Politics.

    The idea of the sacred is quite simply one of the most conservative notions in any culture, because it seeks to turn other ideas –uncertainty, progress, change — into crimes.

    Salman Rushdie

    Philosophy is questions that may never be answered.
    Religion is answers that may never be questioned.

    Lighthouses are more helpful than churches.

    Benjamin Franklin

    To love justice, to long for the right, to love mercy, to pity the suffering, to assist the weak,
    to forget wrongs and remember benefits, to love the truth, to be sincere,
    to utter honest words, to love liberty, to wage relentless war against slavery in all its forms,
    to love wife and child and friend, to make a happy home, to love the beautiful in art, in nature,
    to cultivate the mind, to be familiar with the mighty thoughts that genius has expressed,
    the noble deeds of all the world, to cultivate courage and cheerfulness, to make others happy,
    to fill life with the splendor of generous acts, the warmth of loving words, to discard error,
    to destroy prejudice, to receive new truths with gladness, to cultivate hope,
    to see the calm beyond the storm, the dawn beyond the night,
    to do the best that can be done and then to be resigned
    – this is the religion of reason, the creed of science. This satisfies the brain and heart.

    Robert G. Ingersoll

    It’s hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.

    Calvin Calvin and Hobes by Bill Waterson

    A mystic is a person who is puzzled before the obvious but who understands the nonexistent

    Elbert Hubbard

    Sacred cows make the tastiest hamburger.

    Abbie Hoffman

    We must question the story logic of having an all knowing all powerful God, who creates faulty Humans, and then blames them for his own mistakes.

    Gene Roddenberry

    Is God willing to prevent evil but not able? Then he is impotent.
    Is he able but not willing? Then he is malevolent.
    Is he both able and willing? Whence then is evil?

    David Hume

    The total amount of suffering per year in the natural world is beyond all decent contemplation. During the minute that it takes me to compose this sentence, thousands of animals are being eaten alive, many others are running for their lives, whimpering with fear, others are slowly being devoured from within by rasping parasites, thousands of all kinds are dying of starvation, thirst, and disease. It must be so. If there ever is a time of plenty, this very fact will automatically lead to an increase in the population until the natural state of starvation and misery is restored. In a universe of electrons and selfish genes, blind physical forces and genetic replication, some people are going to get hurt, other people are going to get lucky, and you won’t find any rhyme or reason in it, nor any justice. The universe that we observe has precisely the properties we should expect if there is, at bottom, no design, no purpose, no evil, no good, nothing but pitiless indifference.

    Richard Dawkins God’s Utility Function, Scientific American, November 1995

    Pursuing the religious life today without using psychedelics drugs is like studying astronomy with the naked eye…

    Timothy Leary

    I cannot imagine a God who rewards and punishes the objects of his own creation.

    Albert Einstein

    Question with boldness even the existence of a God; because, if there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason, than that of blindfolded fear.

    Thomas Jefferson Letter, 10 Aug. 1787

    To be patriotic, hate all nations but your own; to be religious, all sects but your own; to be moral, all pretenses but your own.

    Lionel Strachey British writer 1864-1927

    A long and wicked life followed by five minutes of perfect grace gets you into Heaven. An equally long life of decent living and good works followed by one outburst of taking the name of the Lord in vain– then have a heart attack at that moment– and be damned for eternity. Is that the system?

    Robert A. Heinlein A Comedy of Justice, 1984

    The opposite of the religious fanatic is not the fanatical atheist but the gentle cynic who cares not whether there is a God or not.

    Eric Hoffer

    Every church that has a standard higher than human welfare is dangerous.

    Robert G. Ingersoll

    A heretic is a man who sees with his own eyes.

    Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.

    H.L. Mencken

    Invisible Pink Unicorns are beings of great spiritual power. We know this because they are capable of being invisible and pink at the same time. Like all religions, the Faith of the Invisible Pink Unicorns is based upon both logic and faith. We have faith that they are pink; we logically know that they are invisible because we can’t see them.

    Steve Eley

    There is no such thing as a moral or an immoral book. Books are well written, or badly written. That is all.

    Oscar Wilde

    A celibate clergy is an especially good idea, because it tends to suppress any hereditary propensity toward fanaticism.

    Carl Sagan Contact

    Your grasp of science lacks opposable thumbs.

    B Waggoner on talk.origins

    I insist that, if there is an infinitely good and wise God, he beholds with pity the misfortunes of his children. I insist that such a God would know the mists, the clouds, the darkness enveloping the human mind. He would know how few stars are visible in the intellectual sky. His pity, not his wrath, would be excited by the efforts of his blind children, groping in the night to find the cause of things, and endeavoring, through their tears, to see some dawn of hope. Filled with awe by their surroundings, by fear of the unknown, he would know that when, kneeling, and pouring out their gratitude to some unseen power, even to a visible idol, it was, in fact, intended for him. An infinitely good being, had he the power, would answer the reasonable prayer of an honest savage, even when addressed to wood and stone.

    Robert G. Ingersoll Ingersoll-Black Debate 1881

    If God created us in his own image, we have more than reciprocated.

    Voltaire

    …Logic is not satisfied with assertion. It cares nothing for the opinions of the "great," nothing for the prejudices of the many, and least of all for the superstitions of the dead. In the world of Science, a ‘fact’ is legal tender.

    Robert G. Ingersoll

    Better sleep with a sober cannibal than a drunken Christian.

    Herman Melville Moby Dick

    Any frontal attack on ignorance is bound to fail because the masses are always ready to defend their most precious possession–their ignorance.

    Hendrik Willem van Loon

    God has no religion.

    Mahatma Gandhi

    A vast number of clergymen and laymen are perfectly satisfied. They have no doubts. They believe as their fathers and mothers did. The "scheme of salvation" suits them because they are satisfied that they are embraced within its terms. They give themselves no trouble. They believe because they do not understand. They have no doubts because they do not think. They regard doubt as a thorn in the pillow of orthodox slumber. Their souls are asleep, and they hate only those who disturb their dreams.

    Robert G. Ingersoll

    He who possesses art and science has religion;
    he who does not possess them, needs religion.

    Goethe

    The Bible is a wonderful source of inspiration for those who don’t understand it.

    George Santayana

    I would defend the liberty of consenting adult creationists to practice whatever intellectual perversions they like in the privacy of their own homes; but it is also necessary to protect the young and innocent.

    Arthur C. Clarke

    Why should I fear death?
    If I am, death is not.
    If death is, I am not.
    Why should I fear that which can only exist when I do not?

    Epicurus Greek philosopher (341-270 BC)

    So far as I can remember, there is not one word in the Gospels in praise of intelligence.

    Bertrand Russell

    Anybody who believes that the earth is less than 10,000 years old needs psychiatric help.

    Francis Crick Nobel prize-winning biologist, co-discoverer of DNA

    Faith is to the human what sand is to the ostrich..

    Lemuel K. Washburn

    …doubting Thomas, on the other hand, required evidence. Perhaps he should be the patron saint of scientists.

    Richard Dawkins

    A cult is a religion with no political power.

    Tom Wolfe

    Calling the theory of evolution "only a theory" is, strictly speaking, true, but the idea it tries to convey is completely wrong. The argument rests on a confusion between what "theory" means in informal usage and in a scientific context. A theory, in the scientific sense, is "a coherent group of general propositions used as principles of explanation for a class of phenomena" (Random House American College Dictionary. ) The term does not imply tentativeness or lack of certainty. Generally speaking, scientific theories differ from scientific laws only in that laws can be expressed more tersely. Being a theory implies self-consistency, agreement with observations, and usefulness. (Creationism fails to be a theory mainly because of the last point; it makes few or no specific claims about what we would expect to find, so it can’t be used for anything. When it does make falsifiable predictions, they prove to be false.)

    Lack of proof isn’t a weakness, either. On the contrary, claiming infallibility for one’s conclusions is a sign of hubris. Nothing in the real world has ever been rigorously proved, or ever will be. Proof, in the mathematical sense, is possible only if you have the luxury of defining the universe you’re operating in. In the real world, we must deal with levels of certainty based on observed evidence. The more and better evidence we have for something, the more certainty we assign to it; when there is enough evidence, we label the something a fact, even though it still isn’t 100% certain.

    Mark Isaak FAQ from talk.origins archive

    When we make mistakes they call it evil. When God makes mistakes they call it Nature!

    Jack Nicholson in The Witches of Eastwick

    Businesses come and go, but religion will last forever, for in no other endeavor does the consumer blame himself for product failure.

    robicheaux@halcyon.com

    When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, "Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don’t believe?"

    Quentin Crisp

    My earlier views at the unsoundness of the Christian scheme of salvation and the human origin of the scriptures, have become clearer and stronger with advancing years and I see no reason for thinking I shall ever change them.

    Abraham Lincoln letter to Judge J.S. Wakefield, after the death of Willie Lincoln

    My husband is not a Christian but is a religious man, I think.

    Mary Todd Lincoln

    Chemistry is applied theology.

    Augustus Stanley

    The total absence of humor from the Bible is one of the most singular things in all literature.

    Alfred North Whitehead

    And suppose after all that death does end all. Next to eternal joy, next to being forever with those we love and those who loved us, next to that is to be wrapt in the dreamless drapery of eternal peace. Next to eternal life is eternal sleep. Upon the shadowy shore of death the sea of trouble casts no wave. Eyes that have been curtained by the everlasting dark, will never know again the burning touch of tears. Lips touched by eternal silence will never speak again the broken words of grief. Hearts of dust do not break…

    Robert G. Ingersoll

    That which is certain is not science.
    That which is science is not certain.

    The inhabitants of the earth are of two sorts:
    those with brains, but no religion,
    and those with religion, but no brains.

    Abul’-Ala’ al-Ma’arri (973-1057) The blind Syrian poet.

    Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and by rulers as useful.

    Seneca the Younger (4 B.C.-65 A.D.)

    Faith is a cop-out. It is intellectual bankruptcy. If the only way you can accept an assertion is by faith, then you are conceding that it can’t be taken on its own merits.

    Dan Barker former evangelist, author

    Whenever this world is sacrificed for the sake of another- a mistake has been made.

    Robert G. Ingersoll

    Every man thinks God is on his side.
    The rich and powerful know he is."

    Jean Anouilh (1910- ) French playwright

    God, to me, it seems, is a verb, not a noun, proper or improper.

    Buckminster Fuller

    In science, "fact" can only mean "confirmed to such a degree that it would be perverse to withhold provisional assent." I suppose that apples might start to rise tomorrow, but the possibility does not merit equal time in physics classrooms.

    Stephen Jay Gould
    Christian Fundamentalism: The doctrine that there is an absolutely powerful, infinitely knowledgeable, universe spanning entity that is deeply and personally concerned about my sex life.Andrew Lias

    Religion is a byproduct of fear. For much of human history, it may have been a necessary evil, but why was it more evil than necessary?

    Arthur C. Clarke

    The mind of the fundamentalist is like the pupil of the eye: the more light you pour on it, the more it will contract.

    Don’t tell me God works in mysterious ways, there’s nothing so mysterious about it. He’s not working at all. He’s playing. Or else He’s forgotten all about us… How much reverence can you have for a Supreme Being who finds it necessary to include such phenomena as phlegm and tooth decay in His divine system of creation?

    Joseph Heller Catch-22

    The typical imperative from biology is not "thou shalt….," but "if…then…else".

    Steven Pinker How the Mind Works

    For Shakespeare, in the matter of religion, the choice lay between Christianity and nothing. He chose nothing.

    George Santayana The Absence of Religion in Shakespeare

    Reason is not one tool of thought among many, it is the entire toolbox. To advocate that reason be discarded in some circumstances is to advocate that thinking be discarded- which leaves one in the position of attempting to do a job after throwing away the required instrument.

    George Smith

    Say what you will about the sweet miracle of unquestioning faith. I consider the capacity for it terrifying.

    Kurt Vonnegut Jr.

    What the mind doesn’t understand, it worships or fears.

    Alice Walker The Temple of My Familiar

    The original sin was not in eating of the forbidden fruit, but in planting the tree that bore the fruit.

    Lemuel K. Washburn

    Men become civilized not in proportion to their willingness to believe but in proportion to their readiness to doubt.

    H.L. Mencken

    So, when someone asks a Humanist, "What is the purpose of life?" the Humanist should answer, Life is not purpose, life is art. The meaning is found in the doing.

    Frederick Edwords
    Traveler: God has been mighty good to your fields, Mr. Farmer.
    Farmer: You should have seen how he treated them when I wasn’t around.

    The people, ideas, things, and actions we love do not depend for their worth on how long they last or their supposed cosmic significance. They are things in themselves to be enjoyed for their own sakes. Life is an art, not a task. Life is for us, not for the universe. And life is for now, not for eternity.

    Frederick Edwords

    In religion we believe only what we do not understand, except in the instance of an intelligible doctrine that contradicts an incomprehensible one. In that case we believe the former as part of the latter.

    If the lord had meant us to have faith, he’d have given us lobotomies.

    Zlatko

    Genes are not puppet masters; they acted as the recipe for making the brain and body and then they got out of the way. They live in a parallel universe, scattered among bodies, with their own agendas.

    Steven Pinker How the mind Works

    If Jesus had been killed 20 years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little Electric Chairs around their necks instead of crosses.

    Lenny Bruce

    The present life of man, O king, seems to me, in comparison of that time which is unknown to us, is like the swift flight of a sparrow through the room wherein you sit at supper in winter, with your commanders and ministers, and a good fire in the midst, whilst the storms of rain and snow prevail abroad; the sparrow, I say, flying in at one door, and immediately out at another, whilst he is within, is safe from the wintry storm; but after a short space of fair weather; he immediately vanishes out of your sight, into the dark winter from which he had emerged. So this life of man appears for a short space, but of what went before, or what is to follow, we are utterly ignorant.

    The Venerable Bede Ecclesiastical History

    Life is a narrow vale between the cold and barren peaks of two eternities.

    Robert G. Ingersoll

    Men think epilepsy divine, merely because they do not understand it. But if they called everything divine which they do not understand, why, there would be no end of divine things.

    Hippocrates c.460-377 BC

    Armies of Bible scholars and theologians have for centuries found respected employment devising artful explanations of the Bible often not really meaning what it says.

    J.S. Bullion, Jr.

    The four points of the compass are logic, knowledge, wisdom, and the unknown. Some do bow in that final direction. Others advance upon it. To bow before the one is to lose sight of the three. I may submit to the unknown, but never to the unknowable.

    Roger Zelazny Lord of Light

    Garbage In — Gospel Out

    The missionaries go forth to Christianize the savages–as if the savages weren’t dangerous enough already.

    Edward Abbey

    There is one notable thing about our Christianity: bad, bloody, merciless, money-grabbing and predatory as it is – in our country particularly, and in all other Christian countries in a somewhat modified degree – it is still a hundred times better than the Christianity of the Bible, with its prodigious crime- the invention of Hell. Measured by our Christianity of today, bad as it is, hypocritical as it is, empty and hollow as it is, neither the Deity nor His Son is a Christian, nor qualified for that moderately high place. Ours is a terrible religion. The fleets of the world could swim in spacious comfort in the innocent blood it has spilt.

    Mark Twain Reflections on Religion

    If you don’t think that logic is a good method for determining what to believe, make an attempt to convince me of that without using logic.

    Brett Lemoine

    Oh, threats of Hell and Hopes of Paradise!
    One thing at least is certain–This life flies;
    One thing is certain and the rest is lies;
    The Flower that once has blown for ever dies.

    The Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam

    A blow to the head will confuse a man’s thinking, a blow to the foot has no such effect, this cannot be the result of an immaterial soul.

    Heraclitus 500 BC

    Theology is but the ignorance of natural causes reduced to a system.

    Baron Paul Henri T. d’Holbach

    If priests had not been fond of mutton, lambs never would have been sacarified to god. Nothing was ever carried to the temple that the priest could not use, and it always happened that god wanted what his agents liked.

    Robert G. Ingersoll

    You see, one thing is I can live with doubt and uncertainty and not knowing. I think it’s much more interesting to live not knowing than to have answers which might be wrong. I have approximate answers and possible beliefs and different degrees of uncertainty about different things, but I am not absolutely sure of anything and there are many things I don’t know anything about, such as whether it means anything to ask why we’re here… I don’t have to know an answer. I don’t feel frightened not knowing things, by being lost in a mysterious universe without any purpose, which is the way it really is as far as I can tell. It doesn’t frighten me.

    Richard P. Feynman

    Demons do not exist any more than gods do, being only the products of the psychic activity of man.

    Sigmund Freud New York Times 6 May 1956

    We must conduct research and then accept the results. If they don’t stand up to experimentation, Buddha’s own words must be rejected.

    Tenzin Gyatso 14th Dalai Lama, Time April 11, 1988

    Life in Lubbock, Texas, taught me two things: One is that God loves you and you’re going to burn in hell. The other is that sex is the most awful, filthy thing on earth and you should save it for someone you love.

    Butch Hancock

    Atheism leaves a man to sense, to philosophy, to natural piety, to laws, to reputation; all of which may be guides to an outward moral virtue, even if religion vanished; but religious superstition dismounts all these and erects an absolute monarchy in the minds of men.

    Francis Bacon

    Isn’t it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too?

    Douglas Adams

    If today you can take a thing like evolution and make it a crime to teach in the public schools, tomorrow you can make it a crime to teach it in the private schools and next year you can make it a crime to teach it to the hustings or in the church. At the next session you may ban books and the newspapers… Ignorance and fanaticism are ever busy and need feeding. Always feeding and gloating for more. Today it is the public school teachers; tomorrow the private. The next day the preachers and the lecturers, the magazines, the books, the newspapers. After a while, Your Honor, it is the setting of man against man and creed against creed until with flying banners and beating drums we are marching backward to the glorious ages of the sixteenth century when bigots lighted fagots to burn the men who dared to bring any intelligence and enlightenment and culture to the human mind.

    Clarence Darrow at the Scopes Monkey Trial, 1925

    Religions are like farts. Yours is good, but everyone else’s stinks.

    Picket Fences

    God says do what you wish, but make the wrong choice and you will be tortured for eternity in hell. That sir, is not free will. It would be akin to a man telling his girlfriend, do what you wish, but if you choose to leave me, I will track you down and blow your brains out. When a man says this we call him a psychopath and cry out for his imprisonment/exceution. When god says the same we call him "loving" and build churches in his honor.

    William (Chuck) Easttom II

    Sin lies only in hurting other people unnecessarily. All other ‘sins’ are invented nonsense. (Hurting yourself is not sinful–just stupid.)

    Robert A. Heinlein

    …a doctrine which is able to maintain itself not in clear light but only in the dark, will of necessity lose its effect on mankind, with incalculable harm to human progress. In their struggle for the ethical good, teachers of religion must have the stature to give up the doctrine of a personal God, that is, give up that source of fear and hope which in the past placed such vast power in the hands of priests…. The further the spiritual evolution of mankind advances, the more certain it seems to me that the path to genuine religiosity does not lie through the fear of life, and the fear of death, and blind faith, but through striving after rational knowledge.

    Albert Einstein , address at the Princeton Theological Seminary, 1939

    Miracles happen to those who believe in them. Otherwise why does not the Virgin Mary appear to Lamaists, Mohammedans, or Hindus who have never heard of her.

    Bernard Berenson 1865-1959

    Everything is more or less organized matter. To think so is against religion, but I think so just the same.

    Napoleon Bonapart

    The world presents enough problems if you believe it to be a world of law and order; do not add to them by believing it to be a world of miracles.

    U.S. Supreme Court Justice Louis D. Brandeis

    Use against heretics the spiritual sword of excommunication, and if this does not prove effective, use the material sword.

    Pope Innocent III, 1161-1216

    When the Albigenses Christians in southern France wouldn’t conform to official dogma, Pope Innocent III sent troops to exterminate them. After the town of Beziers was captured, soldiers asked their papal adviser Arnaud-Amaury how to distinguish the faithful from the heretics among the townspeople. The command:
    "Kill them all. God will know his own." (Tuez-les tous; Dieu reconnaitra les siens.)
    It was done.

    It never ceases to amaze me at how many religions depend upon circumcised penises.

    Dawn Henderson

    You will find men like him in all of the world’s religions. They know that we represent reason and science, and, however confident they may be in their beliefs, they fear that we will overthrow their gods. Not necessarily through any deliberate act, but in a subtler fashion. Science can destroy a religion by ignoring it as well as by disproving its’ tenets. No one ever demonstrated, so far as I am aware, the nonexistence of Zeus or Thor, but they have few followers now.

    Arthur C. Clarke, "Childhood’s End"

    All religion, my friend, is simply evolved out of fraud, fear, greed, imagination, and poetry.

    Edgar Allan Poe

    The God whom science recognizes must be a god of universal laws exclusively, a God who does a wholesale, not a retail business. He cannot accommodate his processes to the convenience of individuals.

    William James The Varieties of Religious Experience

    When Jesus assumes control, many seem to enter another dimension, which is not so much a twilight zone as one of pure darkness.

    Biblical Errancy issue-5, May 1983

    Marx was wrong. Religion is not the opiate of the masses. Opium suggests something soporific, numbing, dulling. Too often religion has been an aphrodisiac for horror, a Benzedrine for bestiality. At its best it has lifted spirits and raised spires. At its worst it has turned entire civilizations into cemeteries.

    Phillip Adams Adams vs God

    Whenever governments adopt a moral tone, as opposed to an ethical one — you know something is wrong.

    John Ralston Saul The Unconscious Civilization

    The aims of scientific thought are to see the general in the particular
    and the eternal in the transitory.

    Alfred North Whitehead

    The question is not whether man descended from the apes
    …but when he’s going to quit descending.

    Science tells us what we have reason to believe. Not what we have a duty to believe.
    Not what experts, in their pontificating wisdom, instruct us to believe.
    Not what some admired authority, like Albert Einstein or Stephen Hawking, believes.
    No, science tells us what there is good REASON to believe.

    Richard Dawkins

    We do not ask to be born; and we do not ask to die.
    But born we are and die we must.
    We come into existence and we pass out of existence. And in neither case does high-handed fate await our ratification of its decree.

    Corliss Lamont

    The educated man ceases to be religious.

    Percy Bysshe Shelley

    Those who invalidate reason ought seriously to consider whether they argue against reason with or without reason; if with reason, then they establish the principle that they are laboring to dethrone: but if they argue without reason (which, in order to be consistent with themselves they must do), they are out of reach of rational conviction, nor do they deserve a rational argument.

    Ethan Allen (1738-1789)

    Believe…Elieve…Evlieve…Evlive…Evolive…Evolve!

    John Catalano The World of Richard Dawkins

    Faith is powerful enough to immunize people against all appeals to pity, to forgiveness, to decent human feelings. It even immunizes them against fear, if they honestly believe that a martyr’s death will send them straight to heaven. What a weapon! Religious faith deserves a chapter to itself in the annals of war technology, on an even footing with the longbow, the warhorse, the tank, and the hydrogen bomb.

    Richard Dawkins The Selfish Gene
    Christian: I’ll pray for you.
    Atheist: Then I’ll think for both of us

    We may define "faith" as the firm belief in something for which there is no evidence. Where there is evidence, no one speaks of "faith." We do not speak of faith that two and two are four or that the earth is round. We only speak of faith when we wish to substitute emotion for evidence. The substitution of emotion for evidence is apt to lead to strife, since different groups, substitute different emotions.

    Bertrand Russell

    What I’m saying is, if God wanted to send us a message, and ancient writings were the only way he could think of doing it, he could have done a better job.

    Dr. Arroway in Carl Sagan’s Contact (New York: Pocket Books 1985)

    A fact never went into partnership with a miracle. Truth scorns the assistance of wonders. A fact will fit every other fact in the universe, and that is how you can tell whether it is or is not a fact. A lie will not fit anything except another lie.

    Robert G. Ingersoll

    Beware of the man of one book.

    Thomas Aquinas

    The Declaration of Independence was a denial, and the first denial of a nation, of the infamous dogma that God confers the right upon one man to govern others.

    Robert G. Ingersoll Individuality

    The most savage controversies are those about matters as to which there is no good evidence either way. Persecution is used in theology, not in arithmetic.

    Bertrand Russell

    Being omnipotent means never having to say you’re sorry.

    One might be asked- How can you prove that a god does not exist?
    One can only reply that it is scarcely necessary to disprove what has never been proved.

    David A. Spitz

    Your petitioners are Atheists and they define their ideas as follows.
    An Atheist loves his fellow man instead of a god. An Atheist knows that heaven is something for which we should work now–here on earth–for all men together to enjoy. An Atheist knows that he can get no help through prayer but that he must find within himself the inner conviction and strength to meet life, to grapple with it, to subdue it and to enjoy it.
    An Atheist knows that only in a knowledge of himself and a knowledge of his fellow man can he find the understanding that will help to a life of fulfillment.
    An Atheist seeks to know himself then and his fellow rather than to know a god.
    An Atheist understands that a hospital must be built instead of a church.
    An Atheist knows that a deed must be done instead of a prayer said.
    An Atheist strives for involvement in life and not escape into death.
    He wants disease conquered, poverty vanquished, war eliminated.
    He wants man to understand, love and accept all of mankind. He wants an ethical way of life. He knows that we cannot rely on a god, channel action into prayer, or hope for an end to our troubles in a hereafter.
    He knows that we are not only our brother’s keepers–but keepers of our own lives foremost, that we are responsible persons and that the job is here and the time is now.

    Murray vs. Curlett 374 U.S. 203 (1963)

    He that supps with the devil must have a long spoon.

    E. K. Hornbeck, Inherit The Wind

    …And let us do away forever with the idea that to care for the sick, for the helpless is charity.
    It is not a charity. It is a duty. It is something to be done for our own sakes. It is no more a charity than it is to pave or light the streets, no more charity than it is to have a system of sewers. It is all for the purpose of protecting society and of civilizing ourselves.

    Robert G. Ingersoll

    Somehow, the Bible forgets to tell us that Noah’s family was lousy, poxy, and had the crabs. An oversight, I guess.

    Joel Hanes

    Would an infinitely wise, good and powerful God, intending to produce man, commence with the lowest possible forms of life; with the simplest organism that can be imagined, and during immeasurable periods of time, slowly and almost imperceptibly improve upon the rude beginning, until man was evolved? Would countless ages thus be wasted in the production of awkward forms, afterwards abandoned? Can the intelligence of man discover the least wisdom in covering the earth with crawling, creeping horrors, that live only upon the agonies and pangs of others? Can we see the propriety of so constructing the earth, that only an insignificant portion of its surface is capable of producing an intelligent man? Who can appreciate the mercy of so making the world that all animals devour animals; so that every mouth is a slaughter house, and every stomach a tomb? Is it possible to discover infinite intelligence and love in universal and eternal carnage?

    Robert G. Ingersoll

    It seems to me that with or without religion good people will behave well and bad people will do evil things. But for good people to do evil things, that takes religion.

    Steven Weinberg

    The purpose of separation of church and state is to keep forever from these shores the ceaseless strife that has soaked the soil of Europe in blood for centuries.

    James Madison

    I think there’s been great harm done by using some of the discoveries of science.
    But I think there’s a profound difference between the role of science in this respect and that of religion. Science merely amplifies the capabilities of human beings. Science gives us the ability to do ill and to do good more than we had, and to question science in this respect is like questioning whether people ought to have two hands or just one, because with two hands they could do more evil than they can with just one.

    Steven Weinberg

    On the dogmas of religion, as distinguished from moral principles, all mankind, from the beginning of the world to this day, have been quarreling, fighting, burning and torturing one another for abstractions unintelligible to themselves and to all others, and absolutely beyond the comprehension of the human mind.

    Thomas Jefferson

    They express a preference for ‘natural’ methods of population limitation, and a natural method is exactly what they are going to get. It is called starvation.

    Richard Dawkins The Selfish Gene

    It is error alone that needs the support of government. Truth can stand by itself.

    Thomas Jefferson Notes on Virginia, 1782

    <In regard to the Trinity>; Tom, had you and I been 40 days with Moses, and beheld the great God, and even if God himself had tried to tell us that three was one . . . and one equals three, you and I would never have believed it. We would never fall victims to such lies.

    John Adams letter to Thomas Jefferson

    I do not believe that any type of religion should ever be introduced into the public schools of the United States.

    Thomas Edison

    There may be Gods, but they care not what men do.

    Henry David Thoreau

    Men rarely (if ever) manage to dream up a god superior to themselves.
    Most gods have the manners and morals of a spoiled child.

    Robert A. Heinlein Notebooks of Lazarus Long

    A strange mystery it is that Nature, omnipotent but blind, in the revolutions of her secular hurryings through the abysses of space, has brought forth at last a child, subject still to her power, but gifted with sight, with knowledge of good and evil, with the capacity of judging all the works of his unthinking Mother. In spite of Death, the mark and seal of the parental control, Man is yet free, during his brief years, to examine, to criticize, to know, and in imagination to create. To him alone, in the world with which he is acquainted, this freedom belongs; and in this lies his superiority to the resistless forces that control his outward life….
    ….on him and all his race the slow, sure doom falls pitiless and dark. Blind to good and evil, reckless of destruction, omnipotent matter rolls on its relentless way; for Man, condemned to-day to lose his dearest, to-morrow himself to pass through the gate of darkness, it remains only to cherish, ere yet the blow falls, the lofty thoughts that ennoble his little day; disdaining the coward terrors of the slave of fate, to worship at the shrine that his own hands have built; undismayed by the empire of chance, to preserve a mind free from the wanton tyranny that rules his outward life; proudly defiant of the irresistible forces that tolerate, for a moment, his knowledge and his condemnation, to sustain alone, a weary but unyielding Atlas, the world that his own ideals have fashioned despite the trampling march of unconscious power.

    Bertrand Russell A free Man’s Worship 1903

    Religion is a major weapon in the war against reality.

    The trouble with born-again Christians is that they are an even bigger pain – the second time around.

    Herb Caen

    Although it is said that faith can move mountains, experience shows that dynamite works better.

    A book is made from a tree. It is an assemblage of flat, flexible parts (still called "leaves") imprinted with dark pigmented squiggles. One glance at it and you hear the voice of another person-perhaps someone dead for thousands of years. Across the millennia, the author is speaking, clearly and silently, inside your head, directly to you. Writing is perhaps the greatest of human inventions, binding together people, citizens of distant epochs, who never knew one another. Books break the shackles of time, proof that humans can work magic.

    Carl Sagan The Persistence of Memory, Cosmos

    Atheism is a non-Prophet Organization

    www.infidels.org

    I have seen several entirely sincere people who thought they were (permanent) Seekers after Truth. They sought diligently, persistently, carefully, cautiously, profoundly, with perfect honesty and nicely adjusted judgment–until they believed that without doubt or question they had found the Truth.
    That was the end of the search. The man spent the rest of his life hunting up shingles wherewith to protect his Truth from the weather. If he was seeking after political Truth he found it in one or another of the hundred political gospels which govern men in the earth; if he was seeking after the Only True Religion he found it in one or another of the three thousand that are on the market. In any case, when he found the Truth he sought no further; but from that day forth, with his soldering-iron in one hand and his bludgeon in the other he tinkered its leaks and reasoned with objectors.

    Mark Twain What is Man?

    The theory that you should always treat the religious convictions of other people with respect finds no support in the Gospels.

    Arnold Lunn British author (1888-1974)

    My dog was first in his class at Harvard Divinity School.

    bumper sticker

    …in a general sort of way everyone knew they were going to die, even the common people. No one knew where you were before you were born, but when you were born, it wasn’t long before you found you’d arrived with your return ticket already punched.

    Terry Prachet Reaper Man
    Faith: Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things without parallel.Ambrose Bierce

    It was the schoolboy who said, ‘Faith is believing what you know ain’t so’.

    Mark Twain

    Look, friends, the only possible way to enjoy life is not to be afraid to die.

    A zest for living requires a willingness to die; you cannot have the first without the second. The ’60s and ’70s and ’80s and ’90s can be loaded with the zest for living, high excitement, and gutsy adventure for any truly human person. "Truly human"? I mean you descendants of cavemen who outlasted the saber-tooth, you who sprang from the loins of the Vikings, you whose ancestors fought the Crusades and were numbered the Golden Horde.

    Death is the lot of all of us and the only way the human race has ever conquered death is by treating it with contempt. By living every golden minute as if one had all eternity.

    Robert A. Heinlein World Science Fiction Convention Speach, Seattle, 1961

    The church must take from the New Testament the supernatural; the idea that an intellectual conviction can subject an honest man to eternal pain; the awful doctrine that the innocent can justly suffer for the guilty, and (it should) allow the remainder to be discussed, denied or believed without punishment and without reward. No one will object to the preaching of kindness, honesty and justice. To preach less is a crime, and to practice more is impossible.

    Robert G. Ingersoll What We Must Do to Be Saved (1880)
    Moral indignation: jealousy with a halo.H.G. Wells

    It is contended by many that ours is a Christian government, founded upon the Bible,
    and that all who look upon that book as false or foolish are destroying the foundation
    of our country. The truth is, our government is not founded upon the rights of gods,
    but upon the rights of men. Our Constitution was framed, not to declare and uphold
    the deity of Christ, but the sacredness of humanity. Ours is the first government
    made by the people for the people.

    Robert G. Ingersoll

    It is possible to pay another man’s debts on his behalf, but it is not possible to make a guilty man innocent by suffering in his place.

    Carl Lofmark What is the Bible?

    Animals learn death first at the moment of death;…man approaches death with the knowledge it is closer every hour, and this creates a feeling of uncertainty over his life, even for him who forgets in the business of life that annihilation is awaiting him. It is for this reason chiefly that we have philosophy and religion.

    Arthur Schopenhauer

    Nature –
    We are surrounded and embraced by her:
    powerless to separate ourselves from her,
    and powerless to penetrate beyond her.
    Without asking, or warning,
    she snatches us up into her circling dance,
    and whirls us on, until we are tired
    and drop from her arms.

    Goethe

    The greatest dangers to liberty lurk in insidious encroachment by men of zeal, well-meaning but without understanding.

    Judge Louis Brandeis
    "In God We Trust."
    ‘I don’t believe it would sound any better if it were true.’Mark Twain

    …The alternative is to suppose not "intelligent design" but, at best, "whimsical design" and, at worst, "sadistic design."

    Philip Kitcher

    Pass the Lord and Praise the Ammunition

    Ed Sorel

    This is no time for making new enemies

    Voltaire (on his deathbed, after being asked to renounce the Devil.).

    Maybe nature, though dominated by darkness, has always contained
    seeds of light, seeds of intellect and love, which over the ages grow
    until they transcend their base embodiment.

    Robert Wright

    What we are today comes from our thoughts of yesterday
    and our present thoughts build our life of tomorrow.
    Our life is the creation of our mind.

    Buddha

    Belief is one of the most powerful organtic forces in the multiverse. It may not be able to move mountains exactly. But it can create someone who can.

    Terry Prachet Reaper Man

    Death stood alone, watching the wheat dance in the wind. Of course, it was only a metaphor. People were more than corn. They whirled through tiny crowded lives, driven literally by clockwork, filling their days from edge to edge with the sheer effort of living. And all lives were exactly the same length. Even the very long and very short ones… From the point of view of eternity, anyway.

    Terry Prachet Reaper Man

    It may be that ministers really think that their prayers do good and it may be that frogs imagine that their croaking brings spring.

    Robert G. Ingersoll

    It’s easier for the eye of a rich man to pass through a camel than for a needle to enter heaven.

    They say that God is everywhere, and yet we always think of Him as somewhat of a recluse.

    Emily Dickinson

    While human life, resulting from a series of evolutionary accidents, is arguably meaningless, individual human lives are not. Those accidents have bequeathed an extraordinary degree of consciousness, which in turn has granted us an enhanced capacity for both sympathy and suffering. Using the one to relieve the other invests our lives with a purpose which surely requires no celestial justification. Nor do we need God to tell us to protect other species and beautiful landscapes: we can do so simply because we love them.

    George Monbiot The Guardian, May 25, 2000

    We need higher-order thinking skills to distinguish:
    rational beliefs from superstitions;
    science from folklore;
    theory from dogma;
    evidence from propaganda;
    probability from certainty;
    data from assertions;
    credibility from incredibility.

    anonymous

    Wherever we see the hand of man, of directed intelligence, at work, we see a collapsing of complexity, the smooth monoculture of suburban lawns, the reduction of diversity in service to efficiency: invariably, the selection of the one right or optimal path to the solution of an object, as opposed to the multiform, multipath fuzzy logic of unceasing attempts over generations to approximately solve life’s puzzles, in necessarily many different ways, all at once. Look at our DNA! Vast spaces of our genetic inheritance include left over droplets of abandoned code, both self-generated and acquired from viral infections in the dim days on the Savannah as we grew into our dubious humanity. A life-stew in which the animal, the bacterial, and the viral are mashed together, cooked and stirred: and not crafted.

    Jack Baltimore

    A theologian is like a blind person in a dark room searching for a black cat which isn’t there… and finding it!

    Why is it that almost every human culture yet discovered has found it necessary to believe in an afterlife of some sort, but not a ‘before-life?’ Why are there so many versions of Heaven, Paradise and The Great Beyond, but almost none about The Great Before …

    Judith Hayes Where Were You Before You Were You?

    What was the creator thinking of when he put nipples on men?

    The human race is intoxicated with narrow victories, for life itself is a string of them, like pearls that hit the floor when the rope breaks, and roll away in perfection and anarchy.

    Mark Helprin Memoir From Antproof Case

    What was God doing (in His Time) for an eternity in His past before He Created the Universe Ex Nihilo? God existed by Himself through an Eternity before the Creation without needing a Universe. Why did He suddenly desire to create the Universe?

    Peter A. Angeles The Problem of God: A Short Introduction

    Take from the church the miraculous, the supernatural, the incomprehensible, the unreasonable, the impossible, the unknowable, the absurd, and nothing but a vacuum remains.

    Robert G. Ingersoll

    Some would ask, how could a perfect God create a universe filled with so much that is evil. They have missed a greater conundrum: why would a perfect God create a universe at all?

    Sister Miriam Godwinson But for the Grace of God

    Imagine a vine that grows at one end and decays at the other. The end that grows is heresy, the end that rots is orthodox. The dead are orthodox, and your cemetery is the most perfect type of a well regulated church. No thought, no progress, no heresy there. Slowly and silently, side by side, the satisfied members peacefully decay. There is only this difference – the dead do not persecute.

    Robert G. Ingersoll Heretics and Heresy

    What schools need is a moment of SCIENCE.

    bumper sticker

    I believe in life BEFORE death.

    bumper sticker

    Belief in a cruel God makes a cruel man.

    Thomas Paine

    Each of us is a tiny being, permitted to ride on the outermost skin of one of the smaller planets for a few dozen trips around the local star. …The longest-lived organisms on Earth endure for about a millionth of the age of our planet. A bacterium lives for one hundred-trillionth of that time. So of course the individual organisms see nothing of the overall pattern-continents, climate, evolution. They barely set foot on the world stage and are promptly snuffed out- "yesterday a drop of semen," as the Roman Emperor Marcus Aurelius wrote, "tomorrow a handful of ashes." If the Earth were as old as a person, a typical organism would be born, live, and die in a sliver of a second. We are fleeting, transitional creatures, snowflakes fallen on the hearth fire. That we understand even a little of our origins is one of the great triumphs of human insight and courage.

    Carl Sagan Shadows of Forgotten Ancestors, pp. 30-31

    Religion is Myth-information.

    I was born right the first time.

    Bumper sticker

    Labor is the only prayer that Nature answers."

    Robert G. Ingersoll

    You have no right to erect your tollgate upon the highways of thought.

    Robert G. Ingersoll The Ghosts, 1877

    Suppose a man had been convicted of murder, and was about to be hanged — the governor acting as the executioner; and suppose that just as the doomed man was about to suffer death some one in the crowd should step forward and say, "I am willing to die in the place of that murderer. He has a family, and I have none." And suppose further, that the governor should reply, "Come forward, young man, your offer is accepted. A murder has been committed and somebody must be hung, and your death will satisfy the law just as well as the death of the murderer." This doctrine is the consummation of two outrages — forgiving one crime and committing another.

    Robert G. Ingersoll Heretics and heresies

    Beauty in things exists in the mind which contemplates them.

    David Hume (1711-1776)

    Extremism means borders beyond which life ends, and a passion for extremism, in art and in politics, is a veiled longing for death.

    Milan Kundera

    There is to me no evidence of the existence of any power superior to Nature. In my opinion the supernatural does not exist. Still, we can wish in spite of, or against, evidence, and we can hope without it.

    Robert G. Ingersoll 1899

    People go to church for the same reasons they go to a tavern: to stupefy themselves, to forget their misery, to imagine themselves, for a few minutes anyway, free and happy.

    Mikhail Aleksandrovich Bakunin 1814-1876

    Not a single one of your ancestors died young.
    They all copulated at least once.

    Richard Dawkins

    The notion that faith in Christ is to be rewarded by an eternity of bliss, while a dependence upon reason, observation and experience merits everlasting pain, is too absurd for refutation, and can be relieved only by that unhappy mixture of insanity and ignorance, called "faith."

    Robert G. Ingersoll The Gods

    I admit that reason is a small and feeble flame, a flickering torch by stumblers carried in the starless night — blown and flared by passion’s storm — and yet, it is the only light. Extinguish that, and nought remains.

    Robert G. Ingersoll

    Everybody hates death, fears death, but only those, the believers who know the life after death and the reward after death, would be the ones who will be seeking death.

    Mohamed Atta in a hand-written document found in luggage belonging to Atta which had been placed on the wrong plane

    I have always noticed that the people who have the smallest souls make the most fuss about getting them saved.

    Robert G. Ingersoll

    Belief is not a voluntary thing. A man believes or disbelieves in spite of himself. They tell us that to believe is the safe way; but I say, the safe way is to be honest.

    Robert G. Ingersoll Some Reasons Why I Am a Freethinker, 1881

    You are never dedicated to something you have complete confidence in. (No one is fanatically shouting that the sun is going to rise tomorrow. They know it’s going to rise tomorrow.) When people are fanatically dedicated to political or religious faiths or any other kinds of dogmas or goals, it’s always because these dogmas or goals are in doubt.

    Robert M. Pirsig, Zen And The Art Of Motorcycle Maintenance.
    George Bernard Shaw is said to have remarked after observing the objects cast off by visitors to Lourdes, ‘all those canes, braces and crutches, and not a single glass eye, wooden leg or toupée.’

    No man with any sense of humor ever founded a religion.

    Robert G. Ingersoll

    The fossil record shows that the Genesis version of creation is manifestly wrong if read literally, and one is left either questioning the authority of the Bible or recognising that it is a prolonged exercise in metaphor – and as such open to endless interpretation.

    Jerry Coyne

    In 1776 our fathers endeavored to retire the gods from politics. They declared that "all governments derive their just powers from the consent of the governed." This was a contradiction of the then political ideas of the world; it was, as many believed, an act of pure blasphemy…

    Robert G. Ingersoll

    We cannot trample upon others rights, without endangering our own; and no man who will take liberty from another, is great enough to enjoy liberty himself.

    Robert G. Ingersoll

    The order of things should be reversed; the seventh day should be the day of toil… and the other six the Sabbath.

    Thoreau

    The lover knows much more about absolute good and universal beauty than any logician or theologian, unless the latter, too, be lovers in disguise.

    George Santayana The Life of Reason: Reason in Society

    The cradle rocks above an abyss, and common sense tells us that our existence is but a brief crack of light between two eternities of darkness.

    Vladimir Nabokov Speak Memory 1951

    "Frustra fit perplura, quod fieri per pauciora".
    (It is vain to do with more what can be done with less.)
    "Pluralitas non est ponenda sine neccesitate"
    (Plurality should not be posited without necessity.)

    William of Occam 1300-1349 (Occam’s Razor)

    Self-organization and emergence arise out of complex adaptive systems that grow and learn as they change. As a complex adaptive system, the cosmos may be one giant autocatalytic (self-driving) feedback loop that generates such emergent properties as life. We can think of self-organization as an emergent property and emergence as a form of self-organization. Complexity is so simple it can be put on a bumper sticker: life happens.

    Michael Shermer Scientific American, Jan 2003

    And yet, and yet . . . Denying temporal succession, denying the self, denying the astronomical universe, are apparent desperations and secret consolations. Our destiny is not frightful by being unreal; it is frightful because it is irreversible and iron-clad. Time is the substance of which I am made. Time is a river which sweeps me along, but I am the river; it is a tiger which destroys me, but I am the tiger; it is a fire which consumes me, but I am the fire.…

    Jorge Luis Borges essay: "A New Refutation of Time," 1946

    It is a conflict between competing certainties:
    between followers of Faith, who know because they believe,
    and followers of Reason, who believe because they know.

    Edward Rothestein

    Fifty Percent of State Marriages End in Divorce. Are You Worried We Can Do Better?

    Pro gay marriage sign- San Francisco city hall, 2/14/2004

    If we won’t play god, who will?

    James Watson concerning the redress of "genetic injustice" on PBS-TV

    Books won’t stay banned. They won’t burn. Ideas won’t go to jail. In the long run of history, the censor and the inquisitor have always lost. The only sure weapon against bad ideas is better ideas. The source of better ideas is wisdom. The surest path to wisdom is a liberal education.

    Ralph Waldo Emerson

    ….We therefore invoke this council and all of our leaders to be guided and inspired by the invaluable lessons of history, the honest insights of science, the guileless wisdom of logic, and the heart and soul of our shared humanity, compassion and tolerance. So rather than clasping your hands, bowing your heads and closing your eyes, open your arms to that which truly makes us strong – our diversity. Raise your heads and open your eyes to recognize and fully understand the problems before you and know that ultimately, solutions to human problems can come only from human beings.

    Michael R. Harvey – Atheists of Florida to the Tampa City Council, July 2004

    Seeing, contrary to popular wisdom, isn’t believing. It’s where belief stops, because it isn’t needed any more.

    Terry Pratchett Pyramids

    No man can regard the way of war as good. It has simply been our way.
    No man can evaluate the eternal contest of weapons as anything but the sheerest waste and the sheerest folly. It has been simply our only means of final arbitration. Any man can suggest reasonable alternatives to the judgment of arms. But we are not creatures of reason except in our own eyes.

    Robert Ardrey

    Religious belief rests on a foundation of faith. Seeking empirical evidence for support of one’s faith-biased beliefs therefore could be considered pointless. Or even blasphemous.

    Steve Mirsky Scientific American Feb. 2005

    CAUTION! Dark ages in mirror may be closer than they appear.

    Steve Mirsky Scientific American Feb. 2005

    Were it not that Christianity is sheltered in the strong arms of science- the science against which it had vainly struggled- the civilization of modern Europe might fall as did that of Rome.

    Winston Churchill As a reporter confronting Islamic terror in Sudan 1898

    The United States of America have exhibited, perhaps, the first example of governments erected on the simple principles of nature … In the formation of the American governments … it will never be pretended that any persons employed in that service had interviews with the gods, or were in any degree under the influence of heaven … These governments were contrived merely by the use of reason and the senses.

    John Adams A Defense of the Constitutions of Government of the United States, 1788

    I almost shudder at the thought of alluding to the most fatal example of the abuses of grief which the history of mankind has preserved — the Cross. Consider what calamities that engine of grief has produced!

    John Adams in a letter to Thomas Jefferson

    Feminist theologians tell us that God is female.
    But what about the devil? What about her?

    Winston Churchill was brought up in the Church of England, but was never devout. He once commented that he had made "so many deposits in the bank of Religion" as a youth, that he had been "confidently withdrawing from it ever since, never bothering to check the balance–there might indeed be an overdraft." In a short story written in 1947, Churchill referred to himself as "Episcopalian" (the North American version of the Anglican Church), which is an even more curious reference. Churchill’s religion could best be described as an "optimistic agnostic." He wrote once that he was "not a pillar of the Church but more of a flying buttress–I support it from the outside." Why should I allow that same God to tell me how to raise my kids, who had to drown His own?

    Robert Green Ingersoll

    But who prays for Satan?
    Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?

    Mark Twain

    It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die.
    That is true, it’s called Life.

    Terry Pratchett

    When Fascism comes to America, it will be wrapped in the flag and carrying a cross.

    Sinclair Lewis

    The miracle of man is not how far he has sunk but how magnificently he has risen. We are known among the stars by our poems, not our corpses. No creature who began as a mathematical improbability, who was selected through millions of years of unprecedented environmental hardship and change for ruggedness, ruthlessness, cunning, and adaptability, and who in the short ten thousand years of what we may call civilization has achieved such wonders as we find about us, may be regarded as a creature without promise.

    Robert Ardrey African Genesis

    God didn’t stop communicating truth vital to human well-being thousands of years ago, when people preserved insights on animal skins. God communicates through science. Facts are God’s native tongue.

    Who of us would let a first-century dentist fix our children’s teeth? Yet every day we let first-century theologians fill our children’s brains.

    Michael Dowd

    I’m a polyatheist- there are many gods I don’t believe in.

    Dan Fouts

    It says we the people, not we the people under God.

    God has no power over the past except to cover it with oblivion.

    Pliny the Elder

    Whether we like it or not, we’re all going to go (die). The big question we still have to ask is not where we’re going, but what are we doing here in the first place?

    Art Buchwald

    The meaning of life is a life of meaning.

    I shall tell you a great secret my friend. Do not wait for the last judgment, it takes place every day.

    Albert Camus

    After all, the real question is not whether the Bible is inspired, but whether it is true. If it is true, it does not need to be inspired. If it is true, it makes no difference whether it was written by a man or a god. The multiplication table is just as useful, just as true as though God had arranged the figures himself. If the Bible is really true, the claim of inspiration need not be urged; and if it is not true, its inspiration can hardly be established.

    Robert G. Ingersoll

    For me the Jewish religion like all other religions is an incarnation of the most childish superstitions. And the Jewish people to whom I gladly belong and with whose mentality I have a deep affinity have no different quality for me than all other people. As far as my experience goes, they are also no better than other human groups, although they are protected from the worst cancers by a lack of power. Otherwise I cannot see anything ‘chosen’ about them.

    Albert Einstein from handwritten letter in German to Jewish philosopher Eric B. Gutkind on Jan. 3, 1954 as translated from German by Joan Stambaugh.

    Those who can make you believe absurdities – can make you commit atrocities.

    Voltaire

    On the politics of austerity: "I hear things like, ‘You starve them now and they’ll be prosperous later.’ I don’t believe it for a minute. I mean, having seen life on earth, seen how things go, I think that is just appalling, and we are doing nothing but destroying the future when we deprive the vulnerable.

    Marilynne Robinson The Economist, Dec 2013

    If we are not prepared to defend a tolerant society against the onslaught of the intolerant, then the tolerant will be destroyed, and the tolerance with them… We should therefore claim, in the name of tolerance, the right not to tolerate the intolerant.

    Karl Popper philosopher

    An idea isn’t responsible for the people who believe it.

    Don Marquis

    The Purpose of religion is to control yourself, not to criticize others.

    Dalai Lama

    Did you know that you can recycle your dog and cat poop?
    It’s easy! Put it to good use and mail it to:

    Westbro Baptist Church
    3701 SW 12th Street,
    Topeka KS 66604

    Remind yourself constantly of all the physicians, now dead, who used to knit their brows over their ailing patients; of all the astrologers who so solemnly predicted their clients doom; the philosophers who expatiated so endlessly on death and immortality; the great commanders who slew their thousands; the despots who wielded powers of life and death with such terrible arrogance, as if themselves were gods who could never die; whole cities which have perished completely, Helices, Pompeii, Herculaneum, and other without number. After that recall one by one each of your own acquaintances; how one buried another, only to be laid low himself and buried in turn by a third, all in so brief a space of time. Observe in short how transient and trivial is all mortal life; yesterday a drop of semen, tomorrow a handful of spice and ashes. Spend therefore, these fleeting moments on earth as nature would have you spend them, and then go to your rest with good grace, as an olive falls in its season, with the blessing for the earth that bore it and a thanksgiving to the tree that gave it life.”

    Marcus Aurelius – Roman Emperor

    Fear does not prevent death, fear prevents life.

    Ibrahim Eissa

    An interesting list of Famous Dead Non-theists and Wikipedia List of Atheists

  • On History

    ON HISTORY
    Betrand Russell
    The Independent Review, July 1904 (excerpted…)

    Of all the studies by which men acquire citizenship of the intellectual commonwealth, no single one is so indispensable as the study of the past. To know how the world developed to the point at which our individual memory begins; how the religions, the institutions, the nations among which we live, became what they are; to be acquainted with the great of other times, with customs and beliefs differing widely from our own – these things are indispensable to any consciousness of our position, and to any emancipation for the accidental circumstances of our education. It is not only to the historian that history is valuable, not only to the professed student of archives and documents, but to all who are capable of a contemplative survey of human life. But the value of history is so multiform that those to whom some one of its sides appeals with special force are in constant danger of forgetting all others.

    History is valuable, to begin with, because it is true; and this, though not the whole of its value, is the foundation and condition of all the rest. That all knowledge, as such, is in some degree good, would appear to be at least probable; and the knowledge of every historical fact possesses this element of goodness, even if it possesses no other.

    …Another and a greater utility, however, belongs also to history. It enlargens the imagination, and suggests possibilities of action and feeling which would not have occurred to an uninstructed mind. It selects from past lives the elements which were significant and important; it fills our thoughts with splendid examples, and with the desire for greater ends than unaided reflection would have discovered. It relates the present to the past, and thereby the future to the present. It makes visible and living the growth and greatness of nations, enabling us to extend our hopes beyond the span of our lives. In all these ways, a knowledge of history is capable of giving to statesmanship, and to our daily thoughts, a breadth and scope unattainable by those whose view is limited to the present.

    What the past does for us may be judged, perhaps, by the consideration of those younger nations whose energy and enterprise are winning the envy of Europe. In them we see developing a type of man, endowed with all the hopefulness of the Renaissance or the Age of Pericles, persuaded that his more vigorous efforts can quickly achieve whatever proved too difficult for the generations that preceded him. Ignorant and contemptuous of the aims that inspired these generations, unaware of the complex problems that they attempted to solve, his rapid success in comparatively simple achievements encourages his confident belief that the future belongs to him. But to those who have grown up surrounded by monuments of men and deeds whose memory they cherish, there is a curious thinness about the thoughts and emotions that inspire this confidence; optimism seems to be sustained by a too exclusive pursuit of what can be easily attained; and hopes are not transmuted into ideals by the habit of appraising current events by their relation to the history of the past. Whatever is different from the present is despised. That among those who contributed nothing to the dominion of Mammon great men lived, that wisdom may reside in those whose thought are not dominated by the machine, is incredible to this temper of mind. Action, success, change, are its watchwords; whether the action is noble, the success in a good cause, or the change an improvement in anything except wealth, are questions which there is no time to ask.

    Against this spirit, whereby all leisure, all care for the ends of life, are sacrificed to the struggle to be first in a worthless race, history and the habit of living with the past are the surest antidotes; and in our age, more than ever before, such antidotes are needed.

    The record of great deeds is a defeat of Time; for it prolongs their power through many ages after they and their authors have been swallowed by the abyss of the non-existent. And, in regard to the past, where contemplation is not obscured by desire and the need for action, we see, more clearly than in the lives about us, the value for good and evil, of the aims men have pursued and the means they have adopted. It is good, from time to time, to view the present as already past, and to examine what elements it contains that will add to the world’s store of permanent possessions, that will live and give life when we and all our generation have perished. In the light of this contemplation all human experience is transformed, and whatever is sordid or personal is purged away. And, as we grow in wisdom, the treasure-house of the ages opens to our view; more and more we learn to know and love the men through whose devotion all this wealth has become ours. Gradually, by the contemplation of great lives, a mystic communion becomes possible, filling the soul like music from an invisible choir. Still, out of the past, the voices of heroes call us. As, from a loft promontory, the bell of the ancient cathedral, unchanged since the day when Dante returned from the kingdom of the dead, still sends its solemn warning across the waters, so their voice still sounds across intervening sea of time; still, as then, its calm deep tones speak to the solitary tortures of cloistered aspiration, putting the serenity of things eternal in place of the doubtful struggle against ignoble joys and transient pleasures. Not by those about them were they heard; but they spoke to the winds of heaven, and the winds of heaven tell the tale to the great of later days. The great are not solitary; out of the night come the voices of those who have gone before, clear and courageous; and so through the ages they march, a mighty procession, proud, undaunted, unconquerable. To join in this glorious company, to swell the immortal paeon of those whom fate could not subdue – this may not be happiness; but what is happiness to those whose souls are filled with that celestial music? To them is given what is better than happiness: to know the fellowship of the great, to live in the inspiration of lofty thoughts, and to be illuminated in every perplexity by the fire of nobility and truth.

    But history is more than the record of individual men, however great: it is the province of history to tell the biography, not only of men, but of Man; to present the long procession of generations as but the passing thoughts of one continuous life; to transcend their blindness and brevity in the slow unfolding of the tremendous drama in which all play their part. In the migrations of races, in the birth and death of religions, in the rise and fall of empires, the unconscious units, without any purpose beyond the moment, have contributed unwittingly to the pageant of the ages; and, from the greatness of the whole, some breath of greatness breathes over all who participated in the march. In this lies the haunting power of the dim history beyond written records. There, nothing is known but the cloudy outlines of huge events; and, of all the separate lives that came and went, no memory remains. Through unnumbered generations, forgotten sons worshipped at the tombs of forgotten fathers, forgotten mothers bore warriors whose bones whitened the silent steppes of Asia. The clash of arms, the hatreds and oppressions, the blind conflicts of dumb nations, are all still, like a distant waterfall; but slowly, out of the strife, the nations that we know emerged, with a heritage of poetry and piety transmitted from the buried past.

    And this quality, which is all that remains of pre-historic times, belongs also to the later periods where the knowledge of details is apt to obscure the movement of the whole. We, too, in all our deeds, bear our part in a process of which we cannot guess the development: even the obscurist are actors in a drama of which we know only that it is great. Whether any purpose that we value will be achieved, we cannot tell; but the drama itself, in any case, is full of Titanic grandeur.

    This quality it is the business of the historian to extract from the bewildering multitude of irrelevant details. From old books, wherein the loves, the hopes, the faiths of bygone generations lie embalmed, he calls pictures before our minds, pictures of high endeavors and brave hopes, living through his care, in spite of failure and death. Before all is wrapped in oblivion, the historian must compose afresh, in each succeeding age, the epitaph upon the life of Man.

    The past alone is truly real: the present is but a painful, struggling birth into the immutable being of what is no longer. Only the dead exist fully. The lives of the living are fragmentary, doubtful, and subject to change; but the lives of the dead are complete, free from the sway of time, the all-but omnipotent lord of the world. Their failures and successes, their hopes and fears, have become eternal – our efforts cannot now abate one jot of them. Sorrows long buried in the grave, tragedies of which only a fading memory remains, loves immortalized by death’s hallowing touch – these have a power, a magic, an untroubled calm, to which no present can attain.

    Year by year, comrades die, hopes prove vain, ideals fade; the enchanted land of youth grows more remote, the road of life more wearisome; the burden of the world increases until the labour and the pain become almost too heavy to be borne; joy fades from the weary nations of the earth and the tyranny of the future saps men’s vital force; all that we love is waning, waning from the dying world. But the past, ever devouring the transient offspring of the present, lives by the universal death; steadily, irresistibly, it adds new trophies to its silent temple, which all the ages build; every great deed, every splendid life, every achievement and every heroic failure, is there enshrined. On the banks of the River of Time, the sad procession of human generations is marching slowly to the grave; in the quiet country of the past, the march is ended, the tired wanderers rest, and all their weeping is hushed.

  • Chief Seattle

    Chief Seattle’s 1884 Oration

    This extraordinary speech was allegedly delivered by Noah Sealth, "Chief Seattle" in the fall of 1854, in the front of Dr. Maynard’s office, near the waterfront on Main Street, and was in response to an address by Isaac Stevens, Governor of Washington Territory.

    It was given in the Duwamish tongue as Sealth didn’t speak English and was translated by Dr. Henry Smith. It was published much later, on October 29, 1887, in the Seattle Sunday Star. How much of the beauty that follows belongs to Seattle and how much to Dr. Smith’s translation is debatable, but the text is powerful and prescient- marvelously cadenced, austere and elegant. Modern leaders and diplomats sound crass and empty by comparison.

    For those of you in Puget Sound, its only a short drive (or ferry ride) over to the Olympic Peninsula to visit his gravesite in Saint Peter’s Churchyard, Suquamish, Washington.

    –Chuck

    His Native Eloquence, Etc., Etc. by Henry A. Smith. Scraps from a Diary:
    "Chief Seattle – A gentleman By Instinct"

    10th article in the series Early Reminiscences

    Old Chief Seattle was the largest Indian I ever saw, and by far the noblest-looking. He stood 6 feet full in his moccasins, was broad-shouldered, deep-chested, and finely proportioned. His eyes were large, intelligent, expressive and friendly when in repose, and faithfully mirrored the varying moods of the great soul that looked through them. He was usually solemn, silent, and dignified, but on great occasions moved among assembled multitudes like a Titan among Lilliputians, and his lightest word was law.

    When rising to speak in council or to tender advice, all eyes were turned upon him, and deep-toned, sonorous, and eloquent sentences rolled from his lips like the ceaseless thunders of cataracts flowing from exhaustless fountains, and his magnificent bearing was as noble as that of the most cultivated military chieftain in command of the forces of a continent. Neither his eloquence, his dignity, or his grace were acquired. They were as native to his manhood as leaves and blossoms are to a flowering almond.

    His influence was marvelous. He might have been an emperor but all his instincts were democratic, and he ruled his loyal subjects with kindness and paternal benignity.

    He was always flattered by marked attention from white men, and never so much as when seated at their tables, and on such occasions he manifested more than anywhere else the genuine instincts of a gentleman.

    When Governor Stevens first arrived in Seattle and told the natives he had been appointed commissioner of Indian affairs for Washington Territory, they gave him a demonstrative reception in front of Dr. Maynard’s office, near the waterfront on Main Street. The bay swarmed with canoes and the shore was lined with a living mass of swaying, writhing, dusky humanity, until old Chief Seattle’s trumpet-toned voice rolled over the immense multitude, like the startling reveille of a bass drum, when silence became as instantaneous and perfect as that which follows a clap of thunder from a clear sky.

    The governor was then introduced to the native multitude by Dr. Maynard, and at once commenced, in a conversational, plain, and straightforward style, an explanation of his mission among them, which is too well understood to require capitulation. When he sat down, Chief Seattle arose with all the dignity of a senator, who carries the responsibilities of a great nation on his shoulders. Placing one hand on the, governor’s head and slowly pointing heavenward with the index finger of the other, he commenced his memorable address in solemn and impressive tones…

    Seattle Sunday Star, October 29, 1887

     

    SEATTLE 1854

    Yonder sky that has wept tears of compassion on our fathers for centuries untold, and which, to us, looks eternal, may change. Today it is fair, tomorrow it may be overcast with clouds.

    My words are like stars that never set. What Seattle says, the great chief, Washington can rely upon, with as much certainty as our paleface brothers can rely upon the return of the seasons.

    The son of the white chief says his father sends us greetings of friendship and good will. This is kind, for we know he has little need of our friendship in return, because his people are many. They are like the grass that covers the vast prairies, while my people are few, and resemble the scattering trees of a storm-swept plain.

    The great- and I presume also good white chief sends us word that he wants to buy our lands but is willing to allow us to reserve enough to live on comfortably. This indeed appears generous, for the Red Man no longer has rights that he need respect, and the offer may be wise, also, for we are no longer in need of a great country.

    There was a time when our people covered the whole land, as the waves of a wind-ruffled sea cover its shell-paved floor. But that time has long since passed away with the greatness of tribes now almost forgotten. I will not mourn over our untimely decay, nor reproach my paleface brothers for
    hastening it, for we, too, may have been somewhat to blame.

    When our young men grow angry at some real or imaginary wrong, and disfigure their faces with black paint, their hearts also are disfigured and turn black, and then their cruelty is relentless and knows no bounds, and our old men are not able to restrain them.

    But let us hope that hostilities between the red man and his paleface brothers may never return. We would have everything to lose and nothing to gain.

    True it is, that revenge, with our young braves, is considered gain, even at the cost of their own lives. But old men who stay at home in times of war, and old women, who have sons to lose, know better.

    Our great father Washington- for I presume he is now our father as well as yours, since George has moved his boundaries to the north; our great and good father, I say, sends us word by his son, who, no doubt, is a great chief among his people, that if we do as he desires, he will protect us.

    His brave armies will be to us a bristling wall of strength, and his great ships of war will fill our harbors so that our ancient enemies far to the northward, the Simsiams and Hydas, will no longer frighten our women and old men. Then he will be our father and we will be his children.

    But can this ever be? Your God loves your people and hates mine; he folds his strong arms lovingly around the white man and leads him as a father leads his infant son, but he has forsaken his red children; he makes your people wax strong every day, and soon they will fill the land, while my people are ebbing away like a fast-receding tide, that will never flow again.

    The white man’s God cannot love his red children or he would protect them. They seem to be orphans and can look nowhere for help. How then can we become brothers? How can your father become our father and bring us prosperity and awaken in us dreams of returning greatness?

    Your God seems to us to be partial. He came to the white man. We never saw Him; never even heard His voice; He gave the white man laws but He had no word for His red children whose teeming millions filled this vast continent as the stars fill the firmament.

    No, we are two distinct races and must ever remain so. There is little in common between us. The ashes of our ancestors are sacred and their final resting place is hallowed ground, while you wander away from the tombs of your fathers seemingly without regret.

    Your religion was written on tables of stone by the iron finger of an angry God, lest you might forget it, The red man could never remember nor comprehend it.

    Our religion is the traditions of our ancestors, the dream of our old men, given them by the great Spirit, and the visions of our sachems, and is written in the hearts of our people.

    Your dead cease to love you and the homes of their nativity as soon as they pass the portals of the tomb. They wander far off beyond the stars, are soon forgotten, and never return.

    Our dead never forget the beautiful world that gave them being. They still love its winding rivers, its great mountains and its sequestered vales, and they ever yearn in tenderest affection over the lonely hearted living and often return to visit and comfort them.

    Day and night cannot dwell together. The red man has ever fled the approach of the white man, as the changing mists on the mountainside flee before the blazing morning sun.

    However, your proposition seems a just one, and I think my folks will accept it and will retire to the reservation you offer them, and we will dwell apart and in peace, for the words of the great white chief seem to be the voice of nature speaking to my people out of the thick darkness that is fast gathering around them like a dense fog floating inward from a midnight sea.

    It matters but little where we pass the remainder of our days. They are not many.

    The Indian’s night promises to be dark. No bright star hovers about the horizon. Sad-voiced winds moan in the distance. Some grim Nemesis of our race is on the red man’s trail, and wherever he goes he will still hear the sure approaching footsteps of the fell destroyer and prepare to meet his doom,
    as does the wounded doe that hears the approaching footsteps of the hunter. A few more moons, a few more winters, and not one of all the mighty hosts that once filled this broad land or that now roam in fragmentary bands through these vast solitudes will remain to weep over the tombs of a people
    once as powerful and as hopeful as your own.

    But why should we repine? Why should I murmur at the fate of my people? Tribes are made up of individuals and are no better than they. Men come and go like the waves of the sea. A tear, a tamanawus, a dirge, and they are gone from our longing eyes forever. Even the white man, whose God walked and talked with him, as friend to friend, is not exempt from the common destiny. We may be brothers after all. We shall see.

    We will ponder your proposition, and when we have decided we will tell you. But should we accept it, I here and now make this the first condition: That we will not be denied the privilege, without molestation, of visiting at will the graves of our ancestors and friends. Every part of this country is sacred to my people. Every hillside, every valley, every plain and grove has been hallowed by some fond memory or some sad experience of my tribe,

    Even the rocks that seem to lie dumb as they swelter in the sun along the silent seashore in solemn grandeur thrill with memories of past events connected with the fate of my people, and the very dust under your feet responds more lovingly to our footsteps than to yours, because it is the ashes of our ancestors, and our bare feet are conscious of the sympathetic touch, for the soil is rich with the life of our kindred.

    The noble braves, and fond mothers, and glad-hearted maidens, and the little children who lived and rejoiced here, and whose very names are now forgotten, still love these solitudes, and their deep fastness at eventide grow shadowy with the presence of dusky spirits.

    And when the last red man shall have perished from the earth and his memory among white men shall have become a myth, these shores shall swarm with the invisible dead of my tribe, and when your children’s children shall think themselves alone in the field, the store, the shop, upon the highway or in the silence of the woods, they will not be alone. In all the earth there is no place dedicated to solitude. At night, when the streets of your cities and villages shall be silent, and you think them deserted, they will throng with the returning hosts that once filled and still love this beautiful land.

    The white man will never be alone.

    Let him be just and deal kindly with my people, for the dead are not altogether powerless."

    Dr. Smith’s remarks:

    Other speakers followed, but I took no notes. Governor Stevens’ reply was brief. He merely promised to meet them in general council on some future occasion to discuss the proposed treaty. Chief Seattle’s promise to adhere to the treaty, should one be ratified, was observed to the letter, for he was ever the unswerving and faithful friend of the white man. The above is but a fragment of his speech, and lacks all the charm lent by the grace and earnestness of the sable old orator, and the occasion. – H.A. Smith.

    Some references: Washington State History Wikipedia.org

  • Collected Quotes

    Every time history repeats itself the price goes up.

    What if the "Hokey-Pokey" is what its all about?

    Everything should be made as simple as possible but not simpler.

    A. Einstein

    If opportunity came disguised as temptation, one knock would be enough.

    Ron Dippold

    Right now I’m having amnesia and deja vu at the same time –
    I think I’ve forgotten this before.

    Stephen Wright

    I regret to say that we of the FBI are powerless to act in cases of oral-genital intimacy,
    unless it has in some way obstructed interstate commerce.

    J. Edgar Hoover

    Once at a social gathering, Gladstone said to Disraeli, ‘I predict, Sir,
    that you will die either by hanging or of some vile disease’.
    Disraeli replied, ‘That all depends, sir, upon whether I embrace your
    principles or your mistress.’

    The Usenet is like a herd of performing elephants with diarrhea — massive, difficult to redirect, awe-inspiring, entertaining, and a source of mind-boggling amounts of excrement when you least expect it.

    Gene Spafford,

    Virtue is more to be feared than vice, because its excesses are not subject to the regulation of conscience.

    Adam Smith.

    It is by the fortune of God that, in this country, we have three benefits: freedom of speech, freedom of thought, and the wisdom never to use either.

    Mark Twain

    Even a stopped clock is right twice a day.

    A couple is leaving a theater after seeing the movie Indecent Proposal.
    The husband says, "Would YOU sleep with Robert Redford for a million dollars?"
    "Yes," she replies, "but they’d have to give me some time to come up with the money."

    From a cartoon by Dan Wasserman

    Sorry, but my karma just ran over your dogma.

    When you have eliminated the impossible, that which remains, however improbable, must be the truth.

    Arthur Conan Doyle

    In order to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.
    Cosmos

    Carl Sagan,

    All my life I wanted to be someone; I guess I should have been more specific.

    Jane Wagner

    What is it, Lassie? A boy fell down a mine shaft and broke his ankle and is diabetic and needs insulin? Is THAT what you’re trying to tell me?

    People who are incapable of making decisions are the ones who hit those barrels at freeway exits.

    I still miss my ex-wife, but my aim is getting better.

    I was to learn later in life that we tend to meet any new situation by reorganizing;
    and a wonderful method it can be for creating the illusion of progress while producing confusion, inefficiency, and demoralization.

    Never judge a man till you have walked a mile in his shoes, ‘cuz by then, he’s a mile away, you’ve got his shoes, and you can say whatever the hell you want to.

    Despite the high cost of living, it remains a popular item.

    A horse divided against itself cannot stand

    Chaste makes waste.

    Actions lie louder than words.

    Carolyn Wells

    It is better never to have been born. But who among us has such luck?
    One in a million, perhaps.

    Heavy, adj: Seduced by the chocolate side of the Force.

    "They’re just jealous because they don’t have three wise men and a virgin in the whole organization."

    Mayor Vincent J. Cianci on the ACLU’s suit to have a city nativity scene removed

    We are upping our standards,…so up yours.

    Pat Paulsen for President, 1988.

    A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you’re in deep water.

    They’re unfriendly, which is fortunate, really. They’d be difficult to like

    Avon

    Don’t be afraid to take a big step when one is indicated.
    You can’t cross a chasm in two small steps.

    David Lloyd George

    Don’t take the bull by the horns, take him by the tail;
    then you can let go when you want to.

    My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four.
    Unless there are three other people.

    Orson Welles

    Many people would rather die than think; in fact, most do.

    Bertrand Russell

    A statement of fact cannot be insolent

    Orac

    Outside of a dog, a book is a man’s best friend.
    Inside of a dog, it is too dark to read.

    Damn reporters! That wasn’t the quote at all! It was ‘carry a big SHOVEL’.
    Sticks, indeed!

    Teddy R.

    An eclipse of the Earth occurs when you put your hands over your eyes.

    You can get a lot more done with a kind word and a gun, than with a kind word alone.

    Al Capone

    Gentlemen, you can’t fight in here, this is the WAR ROOM!– from

    Dr Strangelove

    Cameramen on strike,
    Slides at 11

    Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.

    Fletcher Knebel

    His eyes were cold. As cold as the bitter winter snow that was falling outside.
    Yes, cold and therefore difficult to chew…

    Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn, One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich

    There is no limit to stupidity. Space itself is said to be bounded by its own curvature,
    but stupidity continues beyond infinity.

    Gene Wolfe

    The juvenile sea squirt wanders through the sea searching for a suitable rock or hunk of coral to cling to and make its home for life. For this task it has a rudimentary nervous system. When it finds its spot and takes root, it doesn’t need its brain any more so it eats it. It’s rather like getting tenure.

    Daniel Dennett
    The Feynman Problem-Solving Algorithm:
    (1) write down the problem;
    (2) think very hard;
    (3) write down the answer.Murray Gell-Mann

    Once, during prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.

    -W. C. Fields

    The turtle makes progress only when he sticks his neck out.

    James Bryant Conant

    I never said all actors are cattle;
    what I said was all actors should be treated like cattle.

    Alfred Hitchcock

    The chains of habit are too weak to be felt until they are too strong to be broken

    Samuel Johnson (1709-1784)

    Lots of folks confuse bad management with destiny.

    Kin Hubbard

    America wasn’t founded so that we could all be better. America was founded so we could all be anything we damned well pleased.

    P. J. O’Rourke in Rolling Stone

    I don’t try to describe the future. I try to prevent it.

    Ray Bradbury Quoted by Arthur C. Clarke

    A ship in harbour is safe, but that is not what ships are built for.

    William Shedd

    Ninety percent of the politicians give the other ten percent a bad reputation.

    Henry Kissinger

    Being in politics is like coaching football.
    You have to be smart enough to understand the game and dumb enough to think it’s important.

    Eugene J. McCarthy, 1968

    Thank God we don’t get all the government we pay for.

    Bumper Sticker

    Government is not reason; it is not eloquence; it is force!
    Like fire, it is a dangerous servant and a fearful master.

    George Washington

    It costs money to propagate intelligence. Ignorance, on the other hand, is free. Our "leaders" in Washington seem to think they have found a bargain.

    Chris Colby

    The color of truth is gray.

    Andre Gide

    Keep an open mind — but not so open your brain falls out.

    Robert Low

    There are two tragedies in life. One is not to get your heart’s desire.
    The other is to get it.

    George Bernard Shaw

    It is easier to fight for one’s principles than to live up to them.– Alfred Adler

    In our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either.

    Mark Twain

    Nothing is obvious unless you are overlooking something.

    Tye McQueen, E.

    Syntactic sugar leads to cancer of the semicolon.

    Guy L. Steele

    I’m not sure, but He seems to be inordinately fond of beetles.

    J.B.S. Haldane, responding to the question "What has the study of biology taught you about the Creator, Dr. Haldane?"

    When the game is over, the king and the pawn go into the same box.

    Italian Proverb

    Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.

    H. L. Mencken

    It is not known with what weapon World War III will be fought, but World War-IV will be fought with sticks and stones.

    Albert Einstein

    Convictions are more dangerous enemies of truth than are lies.– F. Nietzsche

    Down, boy! That’s a good dogma.

    Mathew (off talk.origins)

    Surely your God didn’t give you your head and your rectum so you could do THAT with ’em?

    Simon Clippingdale responding to Chuck Maier

    There are two major products to come out of Berekley: LSD and UNIX. We don’t
    believe this to be a coincidence.

    anonymous
    Irony: God gave the turtle a drag coefficient of 0.3

    A good place to begin the search for truth is to look squarely at the idea that just perhaps you don’t want to find it.

    Gene Ward Smith

    First they stole the fourth amendment. I said nothing because I don’t deal drugs.
    Then they took the sixth amendment. I was silent because I know I’m not guilty.
    When they came for the second amendment, I kept quiet because I don’t own a gun.
    Now they’ve come for the first amendment, and I can’t say anything at all.

    M. Pablo

    In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice.
    In practice, there is a big difference

    What a waste it is to lose one’s mind. Or not to have a mind. How true that is.

    J. Danforth Quayle at United Negro College Fund luncheon

    The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than
    the fact that a drunken man is happier than a sober one. The happiness of credulity is a cheap and dangerous quality.

    George Bernard Shaw

    What kills a skunk is the publicity it gives itself .

    A. Lincoln

    The road to ruin is always kept in good repair.

    The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not "Eureka!" (I found it!) but "That’s funny …"

    Isaac Asimov

    In Mathematics, you don’t understand things; you just get used to them.

    John Von Neumann

    He was busy creating hell for people who ask such questions.

    St. Augustin in reply to "What was God doing before creation?

    All colors will agree in the dark.

    Francis Bacon

    What professor Einstein has just said is not so stupid.

    Pauli (when young)

    Love is like quicksilver in the hand. Leave the fingers open and it stays.
    Clutch it, and it darts away.

    Dorothy Parker

    One cannot escape the feeling that these equations have an existence and intelligence of their own; that they are wiser than we are, wiser even than their discoverers; that we get more out of them than was originally put into them.

    Hertz on Maxwell’s equations

    A table of random numbers, once printed, requires no errata.

    Mark Kak

    Never initiate force against another. That should be the underlying principle of your life.
    But should someone do violence to you, retaliate without hesitation, without reservation, without quarter, until you are sure that he will never wish to harm or never be capable of harming you or yours again.

    F. Paul Wilson

    Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.

    John Lennon

    Treat the earth well: it was not given to you by your parents, it was loaned to you by your children.
    We do not inherit the Earth from our Ancestors, we borrow it from our Children.

    Ancient Indian Proverb

    The only way to deal with bureaucrats is with stealth and sudden violence.

    UN Secretary General Boutros Boutros-Ghali

    I have a very firm gun control policy. If there’s a gun around, I want to be in control of it.

    Clint Eastwood, Pink Cadillac

    What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t work?- A stick!

    Bill Kirchenbaum

    To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit the target.

    Ashleigh Brilliant

    A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.

    Frank Lloyd Wright

    In the province of the mind, what one believes to be true either is true or becomes true.

    John Lilly

    Is reading in the bathroom considered Multi-Tasking?

    Einstein argued that there must be simplified explanations of nature, because God is not capricious or arbitrary. No such faith comforts the software engineer.

    Fred Brooks, Jr.

    Reporter: Mr. Gandhi, what do you think about Western Civilization?
    Gandhi: I think it would be a good idea.

    Anyone who attempts to generate random numbers by deterministic means is, of course,living in a state of sin.

    John von Neumann

    Power does not corrupt. Fear corrupts, perhaps the fear of a loss of power.

    John Steinbeck

    Erotic is when you use a feather,
    kinky is when you use the whole chicken.

    C. Haynes

    Democracy is a device that insures we shall be governed no better than we deserve.

    George Bernard Shaw

    One faces the future with one’s past.

    Pearl S. Buck, 1942

    I’m all in favor of the democratic principle that one idiot is as good as one genius, but I draw the line when someone takes the next step and concludes that two idiots are better than one genius.

    Leo Szilard

    In skating over thin ice, our safety is in our speed.

    Ralph Waldo Emerson

    As far as I know we never had an undetected error

    anonymous

    But cheer up — we could be selling tobacco. It’s not like software kills people — if used as intended.

    David Chase

    Some grow with responsibility, others just swell.

    Anonymous

    Support bacteria — it’s the only culture some people have!

    Anonymous

    The fool must be beaten with a stick, for an intelligent person the merest hint is sufficient.

    Zen-Master Greg Wheatley

    When you’re swimmin’ in the creek
    And an eel bites your cheek
    That’s a moray!

    Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers

    Some people are afraid of heights. I’m afraid of widths.

    Stephen Wright

    Also, I really think that we need to discuss the creative use of… clinicians in other diseases, such as Clue Deficiency Syndrome and Male Testosterone Overload Disorder.

    Camilla Cracchiolo: after a post about PMS in sci.med

    How many Microsoft engineers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    None. They just define darkness as an industry standard.

    By the time they had diminished from 50 to 8, the other dwarves began to suspect "Hungry."

    Gary Larson

    Fame is a communicable disease. And if you kiss the ass of someone who’s got it, you may catch it yourself.

    P. J. O’Rourke

    What has four legs and an arm?
    A happy pit bull.

    Give me chastity and continence, but not just now.

    St. Augustine

    I’m not tense, just terribly, terribly alert.

    There’s nothing wrong with bed-hopping… intrinsically

    Jen Setlow

    It’s not hard to meet expenses, they’re everywhere.

    If only Mama Cass shared that ham sandwich with Karen Carpenter, they both might be alive today

    anonymous

    I’m out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.

    Mr. Spock succumbs to a powerful mating urge and nearly kills Captain Kirk.

    TV Guide, describing the Star Trek episode "Amok Time"

    Once you can accept the universe as being something expanding into an infinite nothing which is something, wearing stripes with plaid is easy.

    Albert Einstein
    Scariest sentence in the English language: "We’ll be in the air momentarily".Pieter Hazewindus

    There are things that are so serious that you can only joke about them.

    Werner Heisenberg (1901-1976)

    Asking a working writer what he thinks about critics is like asking a lamp-post how it feels about dogs.

    Christopher Hampton

    Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.

    Withdrawing in disgust is not the same thing as apathy.

    Richard Linklader

    To be or not to be – those are the parameters.

    Do you believe in clubs for young people?
    "Only when kindness fails".

    W. C. Fields

    The more you complain, the longer God lets you live.

    My kid had sex with your honor student.

    Bumper sticker

    I love cats- they taste just like chicken.

    Keep honking …while I reload.

    Bumper sticker

    Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.

    Journalists use the word "guru" only because "charlatan" is too hard to spell.

    Peter Drucker

    Very funny Scotty. Now beam down my clothes.

    Horn broken. Watch for finger.

    Bumper sticker

    You sound reasonable… Time to up my medication.

    We’ve all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare.
    Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true.

    Robert Wilensky

    How about never? Is never good for you?

    It’s your god.
    They’re your rules.
    You go to hell.

    If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, riddle them with bullets.

    David Bedno

    Sex can be messy, but only if it’s done right.

    Groucho Marx

    Sheep do not so much fly as plummet!

    MPFC

    I am not under the alkafluence of inkahol that some thinkle peep I am.
    It is just the drunker I sit here the longer I get.

    You are validating my inherit mistrust of strangers.

    I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather.
    Not screaming in terror like his passengers.

    Great minds discuss ideas
    Average minds discuss events
    Small minds discuss people

    DRIVE CAREFULLY: 90% of the people in the world are caused by accident.

    Galaxies: The result of chaotic amplification of quantum events in the big bang.
    Free will: The result of chaotic amplification of quantum events in the brain.

    Support your local medical examiner – die strangely.

    Blake Bowers

    Marriage is like a bank account.
    You put it in, you take it out, you lose interest.

    Prof. Irwin Corey

    Never underestimate the animosity of an inanimate object.

    For every action there is an equal and opposite criticism.

    Anyone can make something work. But it takes an engineer to make it barely work.

    Honk if your horn is broken.

    Getting people to give vast amounts of money when there’s no firm idea what that money will do is like throwing maidens down a well.

    P. J. O’Rourke, Give War a Chance

    Left to Her own devices, nature cures stupidity.

    You know you’ve landed gear-up when it takes full power to taxi.

    You know what they say about paradigms? Shift happens!

    The early worm deserves the bird…

    Robert A. Heinlein

    Someday you will find someone special. Someone who won’t press charges.

    Gomez Addams

    Don’t take life so seriously…it’s not a permanent condition.– Noire

    My reality check Just bounced

    You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.

    Mark Twain

    The earth is too fragile a basket in which to keep all your eggs.

    Robert A. Heinlein

    There’s nothing so passionate as a vested interest disguised as an intellectual conviction.
    The White Plague

    Frank Herbert

    Jeans by Jordache… Body By Fritos.

    Here; let me show you how the guards used to to it.

    Does your train of thought have a caboose?

    And which dwarf are you?

    I’m not your type. I’m not inflateable.

    I don’t have an attitude problem

    You have a perception problem.

    You can have it good, cheap, or fast. Any two.

    Arthur C. Clarke

    Don’t sweat the petty things, and don’t pet the sweaty things.

    I see you’ve set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.

    Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

    Today, I felt pass over me a breath of wind, from the wings of madness

    Baudelaire

    I’ll try being nicer, if you’ll try being smarter.

    If knowledge can create problems, it is not through ignorance that we can solve them.

    Isaac Asimov

    I like cats to. Let’s exchange recipes.

    Nature never breaks her own rules.

    Leonardo Da Vinci

    When all else is lost, the future still remains.

    Bovee

    The real man lies in the depths of subconscious.

    H. L. Mencken

    The game of love is never called, on account of darkness.

    Pepe Le Pew

    I like you. You remind me of me when I was young and stupid

    I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad I take something for it.

    Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial

    It is well to remember that the entire universe, with one trifling exception, is composed of others.

    John Andrew Holmes

    A baby is the most complicated object made by unskilled labor.

    …I’ve found that the quality of the scriptwriting has the same effect as a bad accident:
    It’s so horrifying that you can’t look away.

    Micharl S. Roberts WSJ, letter to editor

    Time may be a great healer, but it’s a lousy beautician.

    Conscience is what hurts when everything else feels so good.

    Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand.

    I always wanted to be a procrastinator but never got around to it.

    Well done, is better than well said.

    Benjamin Franklin

    There came a time when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.

    Anais Nin

    Someone who thinks of himself as a wit is usually half right.

    Never offend people with style when you can offend them with substance.

    Sam Brown

    I am not a vegetarian because I love animals;
    I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.

    A. Whitney Brown

    No one will ever win the battle of the sexes;
    there’s too much fraternizing with the enemy.

    Henry Kissinger

    If you think you’re too small to have an impact, try going to bed with a mosquito in the room.

    Anita Koddick

    It’s a funny thing, the more I practice the luckier I get.

    Arnold Palmer

    The only rational way of educating is to be an example–
    if one can’t help it, a warning.

    Albert Einstein

    The difference between a dog and a fox- is about five beers.

    We learn as the thread plays out we belong less to what flatters us than to what scars.

    Stanley Kunitz

    What we observe is not nature itself, but nature exposed to our method of questioning.

    Werner Heisenberg

    He pulls a knife on you- you pull a gun.
    He sends one of yours to the hospital – you send one of his to the morgue.
    That’s the Chicago way.

    Sean Connery The Untouchables

    Light travels faster than sound.
    This is why some people appear bright-
    until you hear them speak.

    There’s only one endeavor in which you can start at the top, and that’s digging a hole.

    The road to success is marked with many parking spaces.

    It takes wisdom to be confused.

    Republicans screw the country.
    Democrats just screw.

    No sense being pessimistic.
    It wouldn’t work anyway.

    People who are sensible about love are incapable of it.

    Douglas Yates

    Nothing is so powerful as a bad idea- whose time has come

    Words make us think.
    Music makes us feel.
    Singing makes us feel thoughts.

    Nothing is so simple, that it can’t be misunderstood

    Political bipartisanship: I’ll hug your elephant, if you kiss my ass.

    Except our own thoughts, there is nothing absolutely in our power.

    Rene Descartes

    Let’s call things by their true names.
    If you’re going to sin, let’s sin bravely

    Leon Kass

    A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well

    What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?
    "Hold my purse."

    Sandra Bullock

    Crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and hear the lamentations of the women!

    Conan the Barbarian (on what is best in life)

    Money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy you the kind of misery you prefer.

    A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous

    Ingrid Bergman

    Kissing is a means of getting two people so close together that they can’t see anything wrong with each other.

    Rene Yasenek

    I could eat alphabet soup and shit better lyrics.

    Johnny Mercer, on a British musical

    She looked as if she had been poured into her clothes
    and had forgotten to say "when."

    P.G. Wodehouse

    No matter how hard you hug your money, it never hugs back.

    Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses- yearning to get even.

    Chuck Colson, in a WSJ editorial.

    Work is the curse of the drinking classes– Oscar Wilde

    Workers are like lemons: when the rich have sucked out all the juice, they throw them in the garbage

    Ricardo F. Magon, 1911

    If you’re so smart, how come you’re rich? The golf links lie so near the mill that almost every day the laboring children can go out and see the men at play.

    Sara Cleghorn, 1915

    Life rewards the ones who try until they get it down,
    the difference between their ass and a hole in the ground.

    Jimmy Buffet lyrics to the song "The Ass And a Hole In The Ground"

    Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things.

    Dan Quayle

    Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense.

    We can often do more for other men by trying to correct our own faults
    than by trying to correct theirs.

    Francois Fenelon

    Yesterday is a cancelled check.
    Tomorrow is a promissory note.
    Today is the only cash you have.
    Spend it wisely.

    The heart has its reasons, which reason knows nothing of.

    Blaise Pascal

    It is said that worry kills more people than work-
    probably because more people worry than work.

    She’s so ugly, she’d make a locomotive take a dirt road

    I can explain it for you, but I can’t understand it for you.

    It’s called THINKING. You should try it sometime.

    Heisenberg was driving down the Autobahn when he was pulled over.
    The policeman asked him, “Do you know how fast you were going back there?”
    to which Heisenberg replied, “No, but I know where I am.”

    Unknown

    It might look like I’m standing motionless, but I’m actively waiting for my problems to go away.

    Scott Adams

    If you hit yourself in the head long enough, it feels good when you stop. Judgment comes from experience, and great judgment comes from bad experience.

    Robert Packwood

    The society which scorns excellence in plumbing because plumbing is a humble activity, and tolerates shoddiness in philosophy because philosophy is an exalted activity, will have neither good plumbing nor good philosophy. Neither its pipes nor its theories will hold water.

    John W Gardner

    Between subtle shading and the absence of light lies the nuance of illusion.

    First decrypted passage on the Kyptos Sculpture

    …All of law is a process of drawing lines on slippery slopes.
    The difference between misdemeanor theft and felony theft is one penny.
    The difference between misdemeanor and felony drug possession is one gram.
    The difference between a pig and a hog is one pound.
    We’re always drawing distinctions, and it is necessary to do so…
    hunting rifles, OK; .50-caliber rifles, don’t be a fool.

    Molly Ivins, Creators Syndicate

    Unlimited tolerance must lead to the disappearance of tolerance.
    If we extended unlimited tolerance even to those who are intolerant, if we are not prepared to defend a tolerant society against the onslaught of the intolerant, then the tolerant will be destroyed, and the tolerance with them.

    Karl Popper, The Open Society, 1943

    Whiners are the products of sour grapes.

    Bumper Sticker

    Ridicule is the only weapon which can be used against unintelligible propositions.

    Thomas Jefferson

    There’s never only one cockroach.

    Dennis Gartman – The Economist

    I feel like a one-legged man in a but-kicking contest.

    Clarence Phillips- Newsweek

    If all economists were laid end to end, they would not reach a conclusion.

    George Bernard Shaw

    The end of a good life is premature.

    Chuck Williamson

    Not all minds that wander are lost

    with apologies to J.R.R. Tolken

    The whole modern world has divided itself into Conservatives and Progressives.
    The business of Progressives is to go on making mistakes.
    The business of the Conservatives is to prevent the mistakes from being corrected.

    Gilbert Keith Chesterton (1874-1936)

    Seen on T-shirts:
    Resistance is futile (if < 1ohm)
    With enough thrust pigs fly just fine
    Instant human – just add coffee
    Is it wasn’t for physics I’d be unstoppable

    He’s a place where brain cells go to die.

    Be yourself- everyone else is already taken.

    If there were a merciful God he’d be dead by now.

    There’s just not enough brain cells for the Prozac to be effective.

    Okay, Jack, let’s get this mutha outta here.

    Gene Cernan to Jack Schmitt, were the last words spoken on the moon. Apollo-17, 1971

    There are worse things than uncertainty – presumption being one of them.

    Marilynne Robinson, The Economist, Dec 2013

    When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years

    Mark Twain

    Live like someone left the gate open.

    I had amnesia once — maybe twice.

    I went to San Francisco. I found someone’s heart. Now what?

    Protons have mass? I didn’t even know they were Catholic.

    All I ask is a chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.

    If the world were a logical place, men would be the ones who ride horses sidesaddle.

    What is a "free" gift? Aren’t all gifts free?

    They told me I was gullible, and I believed them.

    Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up, he’ll never be able to merge his car onto the freeway.

    Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone.

    One nice thing about egotists: they don’t talk about other people.

    My weight is perfect for my height–which varies.

    I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not sure.

    How can there be self-help "groups"?

    If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?

    Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I’ll show you a man who can’t get his pants off.

    Is it me or do buffalo wings taste like chicken?

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Questions or comments?   email me –> chuck@clwilliamson.net